Moving day

Living at my neighborhood has been awesome!
Three of my church friends are living 2 minutes away from me.
I could always go over and play some video games whenever I'm bored.
Walking to OBC takes around 5 minute.
Oakridge Centre is at the corner of my house.
Just knew that Kaitlin and Natasha, from UBC C4C, live very close to me also.
But today, I'm leaving that place and going somewhere far.
Going to miss everything on top of the list.
Positive side to it is that I'm living near Fraser Lands Church!
However, I'm not planning to switch church...maybe visit that church.
Metrotown is a lot closer.
Going to SFU is more...ummm "fon been"...my vocabulary sucks and that's why my teacher keeps telling me to improve...you can say "a lot easier".
The place is bigger and nice.
*sigh* Once I get home from school, they will be done moving by then.
One the videos that me and the gamers were playing.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=511900048&ref=name#/video/video.php?v=28097710048
Who am I going to hang out once I moved to my new place?
I'll probably change my looks...not?
Pray that God will hold my family together and hold each and every one of them.

Confession for you!
Once you read this, you MUST make a comment on this blog saying that you've read it.
Now be DEAD honest once you read this.

Campus for Christ

Campus for Christ
Turning lost students into Christ Center Laborer.
I wouldn't have imagined that I'll be in this organization.
I met tons of brothers and sisters.
I even met her through it.
The first time I stepped into C4C was in WC.
And then joined UBC C4C.
Now I'm here, SFU C4C.
What a crazy transition.
Half a year involve at SFU C4C really helped me grow in spirit.
It wasn't C4C that changed me, but it was the Holy Spirit that directed me to this organization.
Leaders, Staff, and Members are inviting me to participate into something big for God's glory.
Am I the type who can lead?
I'll sleep on it and pray about it.

HOMEWORK
Do you know what I hate about homework?
It is when I don't understand or know how to do them.
Last semester, I was such a bummer in writing papers and assignments .
When it comes to writing essay, I will probably have to stare at Microsoft Word for almost an hour to finally write start off my 1st sentence, or my topic sentence.
For Math, it sucks even more when you don't know how to do it.
If you don't understand it, you don't understand it - The End for you.
Well not true, you could always read the textbook and try to make yourself understand it.
But if you totally don't understand it at first and try to make yourself understand, guess how long would it take you to understand it?
Yeah, maybe for quite a long time and you'll be tired out and you collapse.
Even though you try to copy the exact solution from the textbook, but with different numbers, and try to solve your homework with it, it will take you for a while to get the hang of it without looking back at the example.
Hold on there readers!
I may be talking about not knowing how to do Math, but that's not what I'm heading into because there's something even more terrifying than Calculus.
I mean, Calculus is alright for me and it's not too difficult.
MACM 101: Discrete Mathematics or Logic Math, which has nothing to do with Math...almost.
That's the devil so to speak.
I was doing my assignment that is due tomorrow, and I was like "What the....".
I only finished half of the question and other half is almost like a thinking process of doing it.
Don't get what I'm saying? Ask Kenny, Edward =P. or someone who did this course.
Here's an example.
Prove that these two "equation" equal to each other.
A X (A n B) X C = (A X A X C) n (A X B X C)
I was sitting there for a while thinking how to do it.
But, it's nothing think how to do it anymore.
More like thinking LOGICALLY on how they are equal to each other.
So yeah, I have few more others questions to accomplish tonight.
whoo...someone left their usb on this computer...what should I do?
Typical Timmy is on the loose.

Secretive

Deep inside our core, we have special information that we won't open to others.
Remember when we were little, maybe this works for the female, we exchange information to others?
I did few exchanges with a girl when I was in high school.
It's fun doing exchanges.
"I won't tell you anything unless you tell me something."
But if secret is made to be broken, then that's not fun.
I don't really like sharing deep information; mainly as to who I'm attracted to.
However, I do love giving hints.
That's one of my secrets.

Target

Mini-Presentation that I'm presenting in an hour.
It's not really a big presentation where I need to nail a lot of description but just to get to the point.
It's just 3-5 minute of being a teacher, but I'm still not prepare for it yet and will do so in a few minute.
The topic is based on grammatical or academic issues that we all need to improve on.
I chose studying.
It's just an easy topic to actually do, but I seriously need tons of improvement on.
I don't really know how to study properly, but I've done some research last night and discover a lot of stuff.
Furthermore, Discrete Math and Calculus Assignment due this week.
I just went to see an adviser...yeah.
Hopefully I'll do well this semester.
If you don't do well, then you are not taking it seriously.
Planning to aim away from AP.

Speaking of targeting, I'm going to use the 5Ws.
Who is your target?
What is your target?
When is your target?
Where is your target?
Why is it your target?
Pretty random.

Arguments

Last night, I was listening to my brother arguing on the phone with a person - his girlfriend?
Today, during dim sum with my older brother and mom, they were arguing over the risk of the BC Housing Contract.
Does arguments ever solve anything?
Listening to my brother arguing with his girlfriend, I assume, makes me think of my future.
Will I ever have an argument with my girlfriend or my wife?
Arguing with each other pretty much hurts each others ego, if I used the correct word.
I imagined myself arguing with her.
It makes me feel very guilty as of a sudden.
Depending on the situation of the argument, it can be small or big.
If it's big, then we are in trouble.
However, can arguments ever solve a conflict between one and another?
I think it does because through my own experience.
The argument was pretty much between me and God.
It was the time when I wasn't a mature Christian.
I was in Hong Kong and my family decided to make me stay in Hong Kong for the rest of my life.
I yelled at God, "Why are you doing this to me! I hate what you've done!"
Like I said, I hated God when I was little, but only for a brief moment until I actually returned to Vancouver.
Problem solve!
Another example, I wanted to get into a relationship.
Being heart broken for two times, I wrestle myself and discuss with God.
Maybe not discuss, more like an argument again.
I was mad that God had put into a position where I hated someone causing me to be like all emo and stuff.
"Why God! Why can't you get rid of this feeling I have! Please I beg of you!"
Later on, things have been resolved.
Conflict can sometimes be a good thing, if it's going anywhere
But when a argument that goes nowhere, maybe there's a problem.
Furthermore, I talked to my mom about the house we're moving into this weekend.
I'm kind of worry, which I shouldn't be.
Hearing my brother and my mom talking about it causes me to feel uncomfortable in the future.
If we're screwed, then I'll probably be in trouble, and academically also.
Where shall we go from there on?
Talking to my mom about it is going nowhere, like seriously.
Her heart is very hard.
Why won't she just listen to me?
"Just don't tell anyone. Keep it as a secret. If they ask, then just lie to them."
"So you're thinking of cheating our way in?"
This is just ridiculous.
When I was listening, I totally agree with my brother.
The only thing I pity for my mom's word was this: "We have no choice. There is no other solution to do this. I'm all out of plan."
It's like writing a test.
I didn't study and I'm totally not prepared for what is going to happen.
I cheat my way through the test and I get caught.
What the heck is my response going to be?
I wouldn't say this would I?
"I have no choice. There is no other solution to do this. I'm all out of plan."
There is no way I could lie my through this.
What am I suppose to do when I'm worry about what is going to happen?
Jeremiah 29:11 and Matthew 6:34
To be honest, I'm actually not worrying about anything.
I know God will be there when we move to our new place.
I know I'm helpless when my mom has authority over me, but I know God may show my family something.
I don't care if it's good or bad because this argument will be solved.

Missing out?

So what am I missing here?

Well, I missed out the C4C Guy's Social yesterday, which is pity.

If I do attend, I'll miss out Awana, which leads me into trouble.

I haven't read my Bible for a while.

I wasn't lazy, but I wasn't motivated enough to discover new things.

So what I am missing out on?

The prophet of Isiah, the Psalm, the Kings: Solomon and David, and Paul's testimony.

Those are just general stuff that I want to look at, but the Bible is so hard for us to understand that we would miss out an important part, even just a little verse.

I really desire to discover what God has enstore for me.

I really want attend and be part of something big for God's kingdom.

So where are we heading now?
I seem to be missing out.

Do I have passion to attend something big?

Of course I do, but I need to look at myself and deny myself for whatever that's tempting me.

Can I do it?
O Heavenly Father, You are so awesome, so patient, and slow to anger.

Grant me a purpose for Your glory.

Whatever that is best for my needs, I ask for it.

I'm very weak, and I stumble all the time.

Please forgive me for the sinful things I've committed.

Protect me O Lord, I need You to guide me everyday.

Amen.

 

I had a dream last night.

Losing someone, especially a parent, is very tragic.

I've been a lot of my friends who have went through those process.

It's hard to deal with it, and such a burden to their heart.

I can say I lost a father, not that he's dead, but he's nowhere in my life.

It's very odd that just when I'm ready to confess my attraction, someone close to her disappears.

I've been dreaming about it the whole time, and no events had change.

I felt her injured heart, and I cried while talking to her on the phone.

Anyhow, just a dream, and it felt so real.

But I prayed to God last night.

If my attraction is fake, may He get rid of it.

If it's true, show me something.

I was thinking deeply what God is showing me.

Whenever I blog, I wonder if she ever reads what I'm writing...

I'll be in shock and go nuts if she tells me that she read my blog.

She does have my msn, and hopefully she doesn't check the start beside my icon.

He who does not work does not eat.

I'm quite lazy most of the time.
If I don't clean "my room", dust will come in and take over.
It will get worse and worse.
If I don't eat, I'll starve to death.
So I have no choice but to eat.
If I don't work, I get lazier.
Thus, not being able to afford anything for my survival needs, I guess.
I still have more than 10 questions to do for my Calculus Assignment, which is due in the next 6 hours or so.
I have class in 10 minutes, and then it ends at 11:20pm.
So I have at least 4 hours to finish it.
But wait! I need to go and eat lunch and then walk around for the food to digest to give me energy.
Another hour gone, which leaves me three hours
Interesting expectation I have.
Time to get working.

 

When it all started

Riding up the 4th floor of the Coast Terrace Inn
My lights flash red as I slide smoothly to a halt
"Ding", the door opens
Sweat-suited baggy pants step in
Standing Straight as if stranded on a Desert Island

Carrying a red book and blue pen
She is five feet, Standing just under his chin
Shyly, she stares silently at him
Avoiding the meeting of eyes
She is waiting for him to make a signal of her existence
Slowly he stretches his forefinger and presses the red basement button

Stillness thickens inside the rectangular brown frame box
He urges himself to say something 
His neck turns involuntarily
Eyes stare at her confidently
...glossy black hair held loosely in a rubber band
(A hand is pumping her heart softly and sensitively as she stares at the dark floor) *it's all in one line*

Her spectacles reflect light brightly through shiny frames
Two pairs of innocent eyes meet and discover each other
His hope mirror hers and
She longs to stare at this handsome reflection

My lights light up crimson as I glide rapidly to a halt
Disappointment hangs as if flowers will never bloom
"Ding", the door opens
She gasps and he sighs
Enchantment opens each youth mouth while hope runs out and disappears
Slowly she takes her first step away from him
As the gate closes, he carefully reaches, touching her palm and
introducing himself.

 

This was one of the poems I handed in for English 12, during Adult School.

I actually got perfect! 6/6 on this poem.

Anyhow, generally, I didn't know what happened in the Elevator. 

I just made up stuff when we first met just to make it sound "sweet" or "cute".

Specifically, I went down to the basement from the 4th floor to go to a seminar.

And then, she walks in during the main floor.

It continues on with the poem.

We were actually going to the same seminar and we both sat together because we didn't know a lot of people...too.

After the seminar, she and I went to out separate ways.

When I first had in touch with her, I somehow sense a deep feeling...maybe it was my attraction towards her???

When we did, I was wondering very deeply if I'll ever see or talk to her again.

Miraculously, we did.

Our next encouter was when I saw her crying during one of the worship session because the worship leader was leading us into something very deep.

I can't believe, in all my life, that I had the spirit to walk up and pray for her even when she was in tears.

We went to our separate again, I thought we wouldn't have a chance to meet again, for sure.

Coincidentally...or it was all God's plan, I met a person name Ian Li from UBC during one of the dinners.

When me and the UBC people were going to West Ed Mall, he and I sat together on the bus.

He told me where's his cousin, and I asked him who's his cousin?

Her name is $$$$$$ and she's in SFU.

I was wondering, "Wait a minute, could it be her?"

When he pointed who she is...I was like, "OMGoodness".

Then during New Year's Eve Party, I sat with the cousins and had a chat.

After the conference, I think I won't be able to see her again.

I remember she goes to SFU and one day I went up there for a visit.

And I actually saw her during Ignite but she left early, what's worse was she didn't see me.

Next, I saw her in UBC C4C and sat beside her during the meeting.

This story will go on and on.

I confessed to Ian about it last few weeks ago and he wasn't surprise that I have an attraction towards his cousin.

He encouraged me to keep praying about it and see what God can do with this situation.

However, I haven't been active with that for few days and I don't know what to do with myself.

I waste a lot of money, I skip class and don't do well in school, and my spiritual life.

I've been praying and asking God to change the person who He wants me to be, and a Godly man for someone...maybe her?

All I could say now is that I'm not ready for it or maybe I'm avoiding it.

Why am I avoiding?

I'm afraid because I was hurt deeply last time, not because of that person, but because I was really weak about relationship.

I get very emotional when I get rejected by someone I'm attracted deep in my heart, plus I am an emotional person.

*sigh* I don't know what to do besides relying everything I have on God.

Derek Hill is praying for me about it, and I guess there are people who are praying about it, right?

Undecided?

What to do when you're struggling to make decision?

Don't we all face obstacles and intersections?

Which meal and beverage to choose in the menu?

I'm always a person who has tough time making decisions.

They are just too many to choose from.

I was struggling yesterday with AWANA stuff.

Me and the leaders of Awana Trek had a meeting.

It turned out that meeting was just "Whatever!" meeting.

I give up, almost did.

I was talking to Masao, Jackie, Marga, and John about Awana.

I shared my true deepest feeling of how I view Awana at my church.

I don't like it.

I don't like how the program is run.

It used to be a very decent program.

Kids were being still during Opening Ceremony and Closing Ceremony.

Kids were enjoying their time during the program: Handbook time, Games Time, and Counsel Time.

Now, people are decreasing and giving up on it.

Ever wonder why?

If you're not serious about it and don't take good care of it, it will fall apart.

I'm already seeing things falling off piece by piece.

Computer Anaology.

The system is running with a virus.

The program is not running properly.

No one is fixing it and just leaving it there.

The program in the computer is running differently from what it is supposed to run.

It's very very different.

However, although it's different, the virus is causing it to run differently from others.

If no one is going to fix it, then it will be broken.

The virus is Satan.

I felt very unconfident with Awana.

I wanted to quit.

As I was praying, I decided to talk to John about it.

After nearly an hour and a half of conversation on the phone, he and I decided to work together and change the world.

Awana is very important to me because of the kids.

I want to serve God in many ways that he's calling me to.

Awana and SFU C4C.

I'm thinking of reassigning from the youth.

Anyhow, I thought about quitting Awana, but I made the decision to continue to serve God in it.

Always pray to God if you're lost and He'll come and answer your problem.

Valentine's Day

"In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery."

I stole that information from Wikipedia.

A red heart is a symbolism for Love.

We recognize that red heart as to Love.

<3

We express that kind of gratitude to someone whom we love.

We have many people whom we love.

But what is this day about anyways?

A little bit a research will help, but I not going into it.

When I hear Valentine's Day, I think it is just show how much you love a person the most.

Well, I think this event is kind of bias in a sense to actually send someone a rose or a give card to someone you're dating OR your crush.

What if someone has no love for anyone?

Wouldn't that person miss out all the fun on just that day?

I mean, why do we have Valentine's Day?

I'll talk more about it later on.

When I was little, I always believe that Valentine's Day is to express your love to someone.

I'm being very repetitive here, but I know what I'm trying to say.

As you age, you want to start buying a rose to someone as a confession to the significant other.

As you are dating, you want to do someone VERY SPECIAL on that day.

Maybe go out for dinner and buy a huge package of roses.

When you get married, maybe do something that I just said above.

Valentine's Day is a great event to have.

But what about the people who has no love?

For me, as a example, I'm not dating, YET.

Sometimes I don't feel like going out because I might feel ashamed for not having a relationship with a person.

I mean, I do have an attraction for someone, but it's very hard to have that boldness to actually confess your feeling to that person.

I saw her yesterday.

When I saw her, I was very surprised and my heart was instantly pumping faster.

After Ignite, I talk to her as usual, as a friend and that stuff.

She and I can be quiet when we're sitting on the bus or riding the skytrain back home.

Until she gets off, I feel emotional.

I asked her what she's doing for Valentine's Day.

"Spending time with my church friends."

I didn't want to ask her too much.

Today is probably NOT the time for me to solely talk to her about it.

Sometimes, I can lose feelings for her.

I was once talking to my friend from church about dating.

I said, "I hopefully would be able to date only one person."

His reply, "One person is not enough. You need more experience."
Now that I think of it, I think it sounds very foolish.

So I am expected to date someone just for the sake of an experience.

Dating a person just for an experience is not loving.

It's like you're using that person as a toy and then dump it once it gets bored of it.

I'm not being stubborn about relationship.

If I am stubborn about it, I would be trying so hard to get into one already.

Maybe if I date and fail, maybe I'm not loving her enough.

HOWEVER, that's not the case.

If I date and I fail that relationship, we're not putting God first.

God is love.

I love God, and I follow Him.

His teaching is so intense that sometimes we may forget.

We go on our own ways of love, but His love is the greatest.

Matthew 6:3 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Michelle Lee, a Godly woman that used to be at my church, told me this verse.

I asked her, "Will I find the one whom I love there?"
Her reply, "Perhaps you will."

Corey Porter told the UBC C4C about seeking your significant other.

"While seeking His kingdom, you will probably find someone running with you. If you run faster than her, and she catches up to you, maybe that would be the best to ask her, 'Hey, do you want to do this together?' "

This goes to all the people who are not loved.

Put God as your first love today.

Remember His love for us, His sacrifice, and His grace.

That's the love of God.

We should ask this question to ourselves.

"How can be respond to that love?"

Happy Valentine's Day <3

Friday the 13th

People might wonder why this date can be very disturbing and sounds uncomfortable.

They say that this day is their "unlucky" day.

Or they would say, "Jason is coming."

I'm not sure which one if correct, but knowledgeably, we know that this day is just another ordinary day.

I used to be frighten because of rumors, or maybe it's just like Halloween, but even more freakier such as an unfortunate events.

Now, lets settle and distinguish this matter once and for all.

First, Jason is not real. He's just a massacre in the movie.

Will he be hunting us tonight?

Absolutely not, unless we're too foolish to actually believe in a human/monster who can never die.

Second, is there such thing as luck?

Is it an objective or subjective morality?

Most of the people in this world would believe this world life we're living in chance or probability.

The chance of me dying right now is very slim.

What could kill me right now? Heart attack? Assassinated since there's a window in front of me? or maybe nervous system would stop functioning?

If I die right now, then does it mean I'm unlucky?

Absolutely not!

 I die of heart attack right now because I'm very foolish to take care of my own body, such as the fat nutrients that might clog up the vein.

It is very unfortunate to die though.

Unfortunate and unlucky does not mix in together, if you know your vocabulary well enough.

What if I get assassinated right now?

Does that have to do with chance?

 Maybe or maybe not.

We could calculate the chance of that assassin's accurate skill.

If I die, maybe he/she was "lucky" enough to hit me, but does that mean I'm unlucky?

We hear luck everywhere.

The lottery and good luck on your exam.

First of all, I think doing well on your exam does not mean you fluked out.

It's based on subjective view on how you did your exam.

 The knowledge and the amount of time you study determines what you deserve.

If I score 90% on a Math exam, that means I know around 90% of the stuff in the exam.

If we come back to God's view, then everything is God's will. I win the lottery is God's plan.

God has a plan for His children.

Once you receive and accept Him, you have already started a new life.

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Do not depend on luck to lead your life because luck has nothing to do with us.

You can't trust that this lottery ticket I'm holding will grant me a million dollar because you never know.

You can have hope in it, but that hope will probably fail you.

Put your trust and hope in God, and He'll guide you with His plan.

From the Inside Out

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

I was thinking to myself about my situation.

How I was thinking about myself a lot.

No where, at home, could I find place to have a quiet and comfortable moment to study.

Once I'm bored, I do something very stupid.

Such as wasting my time on things that have no value or meaning to my life.

Except I hurt myself even more.

There is almost no peace deep in me.

I just want to do well and glorify God with my grades in such a way that I could continue to do greater things in the future.

Tomorrow is the mid-term, and I'm cramming my way, but it's not working well.

No space, quietness, and peace in this house I'm living in.

There is laughter and argument; there is self-seeking, complaining, and frustration.

One would tell me, "Go outside the room and study."

Second would tell me, "Go to the washroom and study."

Third would tell me, "I need to use the washroom."

Forth would tell me, "There is no comfort."

Library is another place to study Your word and my school materials.

Fifth would tell me, "I'm very distant from my home."

Where? Where can I find peace in You?

Maybe going out for a walk in the dark?

Chances of being mug can be high.

I am a screw upper, if there's such statement.

I don't need computer in front of me in order to study.

In fact, I just want to find peace.

Deep inside me, I just want peace and quiet.

I want to learn to treasure and love the situation I'm in right now.

However, no matter where I am, God is always with me till the very end.

While listening to this worship music, I really found peace in worship and felt closer to Him.

"He grants peace to your borders and satisfies you with the finest of wheat." Psalm 147:14

If you're not in peace today, then why not just stop for second and hear Him.

Take a step back just a little bit, and think about what He's done.

He has already given us peace, but we're just going through the run like a mad dog.

Just calm down, relax, take a deep breathe, and flip the Bible.

I'm not sure God is leading me tomorrow, but I know it is something good.
I won't stay here and say, "God is good, He'll make the exam easier."

Do not test God.

God appreciates those who work hard; I'm not talking about working hard to receive salvation because that's incorrect.

Devotion

As I was reading the Book of Matthew, again, I stumbled upon many different events.

One of the key verses that really struck me was Matthew 7:21.

We're living in a world where hypocrites are just around the corner.

Even in church.

Believing is not enough to please God.

How are we with our relationship with God?

Ups and downs as usual?

Why do we have that ups and downs moment?

Yes, we're not perfect and we fall short.

Do I think that Jesus knows me well enough?

I do have a strong passion and desire to develop my relationship with Him.

Another verse that I flipped randomly in Matthew 24:36-51.

The time is coming, soon.

He's coming and He's going to end this world.

I'm not always prepare for it.

He's preparing His arrival, but He waiting for us.

God is love, and He's patient with us.

He doesn't want everyone to perish.

My family needs Him and my desire is to show them who God is.

They know Him, but they're not interested in Him or have the desire to know Him deeply.

They have been blinded by this world, such wealth and self-pleasure.

This world needs You, Oh Lord Jesus.

Please, have mercy.

If they DO have the desire to believe in You, then I ask You, Oh Jesus, to find them where darkness is surround them, just like what You've taught us in the Parables of the Lost Coin.

Today is one of the days

Interesting.
After all my work on my Calculus assignment, it turns out that it was supposed to be due on Thursday.
Why the heck did it said it is due today?
Anyhow, I'm glad it was "postponed" till Thursday so I can work on the really hard questions.
Today is the presentation, and I'm quite nervous and anxious.
It is 25%, and that's a lot!
That's is the reason why I need to do really well on it.
Pray that God will help me overcome my fear and nervousness.
Prepare my heart for what I have to present to the audience.

 

I'm rejoicing as always.

God did something to my mind and my heart.

But I finally got through the presentation with really good performance.

The other group didn't do too well because they were over time and one of them didn't made any eye contact at all and wasn't speaking very clear.

One of the group did a really interesting topic regarding to Teitan or something.

It is where a lot of people that lives at the end of China, close to India or Nepal.

I learned a lot from that group and something about Dalai lama.

Dalai lama is a chosen spiritual leader and a very pssionate Buddhist.

SO you can say he's the "chosen" one to lead the people.

People worships him, and whoever disrespect him will be punished, such as getting your eyes pulled out.

I can't believe people are brainwashed by his teaching...

I mean, he's a human being just like all of us.

Jesus is quite different from him because He did rose from the dead and He is God.

I'm thankful that the group actually presented something very appealing to me.

One of them swore due to technological difficulty, and the whole last laughed and the instructor was nodding her head.

Anyhow, 1 assignment and a mid-term to go!

Let us count on God every step of the way.

Counting on God - Part 2

As I continuely going through stress, I would like to say that I am blessed to be here.
I am able to work, get stressed out, be challenged, go through hardship, and know God personally.
I think I can finally feel peace with work.
Even though I am burning inside(rising fever?), but the fire just keeps burning in me(consuming fire).
The taste of this Bubble Tea, it does not seem to matter to me anymore.
I enjoy drinking it, yet I am not drinking it everyday.
In 10 minutes, I'm going rock out my time for another three hours putting the power point for the presentation tomorrow.
I'm quite anxious and excited to get it over with, especially tomorrow.
*sigh* I am feeling kind of emotional about my life.
Typing a blog in the library where random people can just glance over what I'm saying.
 No matter, not that I care.
God will provide no matter what happens, I just need to do my parts also.
It's probably going to be another long time that I could get to see her again, unless she comes to Ignite.
There, I gave you guys hints! For those who are still guessing who's "her".
Anyhow, prayer will never ever be futile.
Keep praying and strive a deeper relationship with God.

Counting on God

I have few more minutes before I need to head off to OBC.

This week is a whole new week.

It is going to be a tough one.

Two assignments that I need to accomplish, which is Calculus and Discrete Math.

A group presentation that I need to face on Tuesday during FALX99.

A mid-term for Discrete Math on Friday that I haven't studied much yet.

Everything is going by so fast, just a little bit too fast.

We're nearly in the middle of the semester and things are piling up that I need to tackle.

I'm pretty overwhelmed by everything I listed up there, but I know that God is the one I need to count to lead me through the day.

I didn't have my Sabbath last week, and I'm quite tired and brain washed by school.

Enough of that, I have victory anyways, nonetheless we're still at war, but not physical.

Anyhow, I'm going to listen to that music and then head off =D

Continuing on with my blog.
I'm at SFU on Sunday for my very first time.
I'm hoping to get as much done as possible.
Deep in my heart, I know Satan is accomplishing something, and that is making  me feel not confident at all.
How can we overcome his wretched schemes?
Well, just Count On God that He'll lead you through.
Pray and ask Him to lead you because we know that He's there to help us, but let Him take over us again.
I know that we can be lead to astray.
So ask Him to lead us.

4:50pm, and I'm done meeting up with my group.
Right now, I'm summarizing my article that is due on Tuesday during the presentation.
An amazing thing that God provided was brothers and sisters in Christ.
I am already stressed out by many things.
School is evil, but it can be good.
First, I have to accomplish my summary.
Second, I need to finish my Calculus assignment.
Third, I need to finish my Discrete Math assignment.
Fourth, I need to prepare the power point for the presentation...I have so much work to do.
Fifth, I need to study for my mid-term on Friday.
Finally, sixth, I need to finish my reflective assignment after my presentation.
That's quite loaded in just ONE whole week, especially when I'm taking three courses.
Anyhow, I am thankful for Allen Chao that he intends to let me sleep over at his rez again for tonight.
I'm going to work all night for 4 straight hours when Allen comes back to school.
I wonder how much I could accomplish without any distraction from facebook and blogging.
This is all I'm going to say today.
So keep Counting on God because He will provide.

Stubborn

We are all stubborn in many ways.

My stubborness is when I think I can do this and that without anyone's help.

My stubborness is when I can carry out my life with my own strength.

God will just knock me over like a domino and let me take a good look at myself while I'm on the ground.

It is pretty pathetic that we can be ignorant about what we do.

Anyhow, I'm pretty upset and annoyed.

Awana Trek is not equal to youth.

The End! Period!

My youth Pastor decided to come back to help with Awana, but somehow he has decided to just stomp me.

I was away for last Awana because I was sick or had a headache.

Just one day away, things turned out to be so different.

I don't understand why he must do something that just stops me in the middle of my theme lesson.

I was teaching the kids about the series in taking God's Word to it.

After teaching half-way, I'm done, been stopped.

I'm not trying to curse him or blame him for the things he did, but think of how stubborn he can be without co-operating with me and the director of Trek.

He emailed me that we're going to start teaching SOMETHING else yesterday other than the lesson I'm teaching.

He's not trained, yet not even a member of Awana.

He doesn't wear our Awana uniform, which means he is already not a member of it yet.

Something hit me when I told Uncle Banky about this, "I don't feel confident in serving this program anymore."

Uncle Banky, "You're not serving anyone, but you're serving God."

I was very glad that I was reminded about it and I thank him for that.

It seems God is calling me to do something else now

Keep this in prayer.

Hopefully my Pastor is open up to Awana, fully.

Surreal

Whenever I'm dead tired, I always(90% of the time) start having dreams.
Sometimes it is weird, wonderful, cool, and romantic.
Before I sleep, I pray a lot of stuff.
While praying, I always have a deep focus on specific things.
Oh, how I miss God.
I always think about what he's like.
To be honest, I miss her almost just as much as God, but God > her.
Nonetheless, all the things I fantasize about, the commitment, and my superficial act will always turn out to be different.
I wish, I just really wish, there are those kinds of moment in reality.
Now, I'm not going to persuade.
I need to model myself, such as doing well in school, and sharpening my sword.
God is very unpredictable.
I need to keep myself strong and faithful, and not let this temptation get into me.
He has already strengthened me through my past experience, and I'm blessed because of Him.

The worse nightmare we can all have while we are being educated is when we fail.
I don't enjoy seeing myself being defeated so easily just because I did bad on one assignment or exam.
Inside us, we predict that we are failing.
Last semester, I kept telling her that I'm going to fail everything.
Even though I tried and work really hard, I already discover that I'm wasting time.
God, who is so gracious and patient, gave us all a precious time to spend, but we end up tossing it in the garbage.
I'm NOT trying to say that taking a break is a waste of time, but use it carefully.
There's an old quote that said, "Time is money."
Anyhow, I don't follow along that quote anyways, I follow Jesus.
Now, I really need to discipline myself a lot.
I need to be a little bit aggressive with my studying.
I always have this odd feeling that I will fail, but here is what I'm going to say to my feeling, "GO AWAY!"
That is why I need to model myself to become a better man for God.
I find that person is always busy, yet I find out that she is still passionate about God.
Although I can't see what she's been up to late, but I can sense it.

Friendship or Relationship?

Last night was the "Does God Exist?" Debate.
No comment.
One of the things we long for, most of the time, is relationship.
I'm not taking any references out from Soul Craving, but just my personal view.
Finally, after nearly a month, she finally appeared to me again.
In my heart, there is something I really want to tell her.
Loving, Responsibility, Caring...many others that has to do with love.
It's a difficult fulfillment.
Sometimes we really want to get into a relationship because it is part of our intimacy.
How can we change from want to need?
Want is for our own selfish persuasion.
Need is a survival matter.
God created Eve to be with Adam because He sought Adam being alone.
Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
When I think of the word, Alone, does it not mean that we need someone already?
I can be lonely most of the times, even when I have a family to love.
When we strive or pursue for a relationship because sometimes we are shallow and sexual beings, does it not mean we want someone?
How can we put shallow and sexuality into a Godly use?
Sexuality immorality is not a Godly use, of course.
Read 1 Thessalonian 4 or 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 to teaches us how be sexual beings in a Godly way.
For shallow, meaning to prefer the proportion of a person's body, and wealth...that's all I could think of.
How can we not be shallow?
I went to a sermon at Coastal Church, and the speaker was a marriage counselor and a pastor, and he's also in a talk show on Television.
He listed 15 things on we can look at someone that, naturally I presume, attracts us.
It is ok to have 1-3 that doesn't apply to us.
My apology, I didn't copy them down and I can't remember all of them.
Appearance, Godly, Forgiveness...and yeah.
One of the things that stood out to be the most, was to pray for each other daily.
Many marriage had failed because we are not praying for each other.
That's what he said and I do agree with him.
I'm not going to preach on that, I'll come back to it in the near future.
Friendship is important, and sometimes we fail to keep our friendship strong.
I almost loss a good friend because of my selfish act.
For me, I know it is not the time for me yet.
I need to pray constantly for that person and hopefully I'll run into her again, as friend.
There are so much fulfillment I need to do, and that is, becoming what God wants me to be.

Procastinating? and Sailor Moon...and mid-term

Ever since my laptop broke, I don't have the opportunity to post a blog at home.
So, the last few blogs were posted either at home(whenever my brothers are out and I'm at home) or at school.
Just to add one more thing, I am not procrastinating with my blogging.
Last night was Sam Chua's "Surprise" Birthday Party.
It was very ironic and reversible.
We were planning to hide(the C4C crews) and wait for Esther Hsu to open to door for him, and surprise him from behind.
Hilarious thing was, like I said, things turned out to be the other side.
The door was unlock, and Esther told us that Sam is coming, probably from gage which is around 10 minutes walk to Esther's rez.
Suddenly, while preparing, Sam came out of nowhere.
It was SO ironic!
We were the ones that got surprised by the birthday boy.
It was hilarious and I don't even know what's going on.
Very unique to have this kind of a "surprise" party, aye?
After the party, me and the guys were walking back to gage, well walked JOanne home first, and practice Calculus(I'll talk about it later).
I talked to Ian Li, haven't spoken to him for a while, and talked about Sailor Moon and other stuff.
I confessed to him that I am attracted to Sailor Moon, thus LOVING it with passion.
He was sort of surprise when I told him, but he kind of knew about it by observing me.
Thank You God for creating Sailor Moon! I love You!(sound so girly for some reason)
Furthermore, today is my Calculus mid-term.
I was very nervous, shaking and waiting, until the Prof said we'll have it after the lesson.
I was like, "Dude! why not now? I'll forget if you're teaching other stuff!"
Then finally the mid-term.
It was out of 100!!!! only 7 questions...
I was like...what the heck????
Overall, I shred it apart.
My friend said he couldn't do it, but I found it alright.
I could consider that it was a fair exam, and hopefully the bell curve would help me boost my mark up.
Anyhow, some of the verses stood out to me just now, but I forgot which one it was.
It was in Ian's room when I read that verse.
Talks about being challenged, academically.
Somewhere in 1 Corinthians?

Awana Reunion

Last night was the Awana Camp Reunion!

It was great and honorable to be able to be with them in their lives right now.

I still remember last year I almost wasn't able to go, but I prayed and God led me through.

One of the things that really stood out to me the most were the girls around grade 8.

Whenever they see me, it seems they are seeing a celebrity like Brad Pitt or something.

One of them knew my number and I don't recall posting my cell # on facebook.

Actually, I take that back, I did post it.
They randomly called my number out of nowhere.

Anyhow, I was kind of nervous whenever they have this kind of expression on me.

Nonetheless, lets talk about the boys!

I saw some of the campers from my cabin but it seems they weren't as excited as the girls.

Only a few were happy to see me.

I wish I had some pictures that I could show you guys, but they were all in my laptop.
I really wish that I could go back to that camp and help out and gain more experience on that field.
Children are important for us because they are the next generation.
Matthew 19:14 "Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."