Stress Level (90%)

So tired.
So sleepy.
Sometimes I'm being very persuasive on my work.
But I have to hold on to this tight grip.
I have to stay strong for just a little bit longer.
After next week, I may be relief.
However, for now, I need to finish two projects this weekend before Monday.
I also have a powerpoint "presentation" that I need to submit on Wednesday for TECH 101W
Quite a lot of workload I am already having.
I'm actually doing alright in CMPT 120, but I still have to finish an assignment for Tuesday...probably going to complete before Tuesday.
OKAY.
Tonight, finish bits and pieces of IAT 102.
Saturday, hardcore work on IAT 100.
Sunday, hardcore work on IAT 100.
Monday...God, may I not present during the lecture......if it's Your will?
I'm losing marks bits by bits in IAT 102 for not meeting the deadline.
I hope my partner does not read this entry, but I hope she doesn't hate me...
although I was trying to finish as much work as possible.
I think I will get used to doing all-nighter in this program =/
This is going to be interesting.
More coffee and sleepless nights.

Realization

I am very behind on my project and assignment work.
Deadline after deadline.
Finish the graphic design of the business card, logo, and letterhead for tomorrow.
In addition, there is a random draw during lecture and that person must present to the whole class..EEK.
IAT 100 project due on Tuesday...
Joshua Lin and I are very behind in terms of collecting photos and doing html.
Pray for me.

Await

Everyday, it is You who I live for.
It is all because of Jesus that I am alive.
Oh Happy Day, I will never be the same.
For some reason, I think that the three sentences above somehow correspond to each other.
Everytime I listen to music, I can imagine myself with OBC band leading worship.
Something interesting popped out of my mind: OBC band.
I was just fantasizing and wished that my church has a band.
Imagine Oakridge Baptist Church having a band...or just a solid and dedicated worship team.
Chinese Congregation has their Praise Team, which is cool.
So, who was in the band that I imagine?
I will feel guilty for naming people and leaving out others who believes they "aren't" talented enough, but that is not true because anyone can lead worship or worship God.
You don't need to be talented to worship God.
You praise Him and give thanks for who He is and what He has done.
Anyhow, back to the question: Who's in the band?
Drummer: Masao, Renee(main), or me.
Piano: Eliza
Keyboard: Nathaniel
Bass: Isamu...although he is not even part of OBC or Daniel even though he wasn't in my thought.
Acoustic Guitar: Masao as a worship leader.
Electric Guitar: Billy and me(solo person)
Vocalist: Justin, Jackie, and Angel.
There we go.
Just to make sure, I am not choosing out of favoritism.
It could be fun if we could all get together and have a worship jam.
Anyhow, lets get back on topic.
Today, I have my first, one and only mid-term, and a quiz.
My mid-term was Computer Science and it was alright...except I messed up on my last two questions and little questions.
I blew my quiz big time.
It was all multiple choice and I don't even know more than half of it.
I was focusing mostly on my mid-term so I didn't find time to study thoroughly for the quiz except taking some notes last night.
Mid-term was quite misleading.
Did few of the sample mid-terms, and I thought it would be on those questions.
However, I figured that the prof was being tricky on us.
Glad that I did more studying on it.
Anyhow, IF by God's will, I hope I did alright on my mid-term and quiz; IF not, then I will still rejoice in Him =)
Yesterday was her special day.
I thank God that I met her when she and I were 18.
Now, we're both 20.
I was talking to her on the phone last night, and she is pretty cute and funny for making stressful noises.
In the next ten years, I might help her recall what she did during her 20th birthday.
"You were studying all day for your mid-terms.) =P
Anyhow, it was fun talking to her.
I will continue to wait upon the Lord.
Perhaps I should find a week to fast and prayer about this.

Awana Conference

Today was quite a highlight of my day.
Went to the Annual Awana Conference with...few people in my church.
I was happy to see other peeps from Awana Camp that also went there.
Went to four workshops, and they refreshed my thought on how to become a better teacher like Jesus.
Next year, I have to remember to bring at least 70% of the leaders in my church so that we can earn a plague.

Pulled Over

Today was the first time that I ever got pulled over by the police.
I'm putting this entry just to remember the day I got pulled over for my very first time.
The officer was bald, wear glasses, and wearing a yellow jacket.
Lessons to be learned:
1.) Do not make a U turn at an intersection of a light.
2.) Stick my "N" on the back of the car.
Now, I have to pay lots of bling bling.
Should I dispute or just pay it?
I'll see.

DONE!...for now.

YES! I am finally free from that stupid research paper!
I feel so relief after I handed it in.
Am I happy about it?
I am just happy that I handed it in, but it would be nice if I passed it.
It is better than to not hand it in.
So what am I going to do now that I am done?
More projects and assignments need to be done.
Next week is my first one and only mid-term for this semester.
For now, I am quite satisfied that I gave so much effort doing it...especially staying up until around 3am - 4am working on it...and sip some coffee in the morning.
It was quite hard to stay up doing on all these things.
I felt like I was not giving enough time or effort to work on it...
There were times I went out at night with my brothers and eat dinner and doing some fun things...
Well, it is good to relax.
It is not wrong to take a rest from work.
I actually do needed that rest and fun activity.
Most importantly, I do needed to place a time only for God.
It was quite hard to go back to my reading 2 King, Psalm, and Isaiah, but I did flip to other passages and get some encouragement from God's words.
Whatever the result is, I will continue to rejoice and give thanks, for He has always been showing me my weaknesses.
I find it funny how I always think so hard or over think stuff
I was talking to Joshua before class about creating a BIG project that seems kind of difficult.
And out of an instant, he just thought of something so simple that doesn't need to be difficult.
Sometimes you just got to think stupidly.
Then, I just thought of a verse similar to that, BUT THERE ARE NO RELATION between the verse and what I am saying.
1 Corinthians 1:25 "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."
Why does it not have any relation?
Well, it talks about how the world see us, the Christian, as foolish people who follows Christ.
I would so rather be called foolish for believing Christ than to be smart.

Stress Level (Still Up)

Project is due today...not done yet.
Research paper is due tomorrow...not done yet.
Assignment due today...not done yet.
OKAY!
Today is the day!

Psalm 77
¹ I cried out to God for help;
       I cried out to God to hear me.

 ² When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
       at night I stretched out untiring hands
       and my soul refused to be comforted.

 ³ I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
       I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
       Selah

 ⁴ You kept my eyes from closing;
       I was too troubled to speak.

 ⁵ I thought about the former days,
       the years of long ago;

 ⁶ I remembered my songs in the night.
       My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

 ⁷ "Will the Lord reject forever?
       Will he never show his favor again?

 ⁸ Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
       Has his promise failed for all time?

 ⁹ Has God forgotten to be merciful?
       Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
       Selah

 ¹⁰ Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
       the years of the right hand of the Most High."

 ¹¹ I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
       yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

 ¹² I will meditate on all your works
       and consider all your mighty deeds.

 ¹³ Your ways, O God, are holy.
       What god is so great as our God?

 ¹⁴ You are the God who performs miracles;
       you display your power among the peoples.

 ¹⁵ With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
       the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
       Selah

 ¹⁶ The waters saw you, O God,
       the waters saw you and writhed;
       the very depths were convulsed.

 ¹⁷ The clouds poured down water,
       the skies resounded with thunder;
       your arrows flashed back and forth.

 ¹⁸ Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
       your lightning lit up the world;
       the earth trembled and quaked.

 ¹⁹ Your path led through the sea,
       your way through the mighty waters,
       though your footprints were not seen.

 ²⁰ You led your people like a flock
       by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Stress Level (UP)

Let me see...
Research Paper due on Wednesday...Off-Topic...Not finished...Need more reference...
Project...not done...takes a while to finish...
Assignment 1...not done...I heard it's easy...just do some write-ups...
Assignment 2...need to contact my partner.

Powerful Dream

"She has a place in your heart." ~ Nathaniel Grams.
I had the most powerful dream I ever had.
It was so powerful.
It is so difficult to explain it, but it was a powerful dream.
Just before the day ended, I had an hour conversation with Nathaniel.
You are guys will be like, "Who's Nathaniel? A new character in this blog?"
He's one of my brothers in Christ in Oakridge Baptist Church.
Anyhow, I was sharing something deep in my heart.
I longed to talk to someone who is willing to listen.
Since Nathaniel is doing his thesis, and he's going to be a counselor, I might as well share with him.
He said sometimes when you share something deep inside your heart with someone, it will probably hurt someone.
That is quite interesting.
I was sharing quite a lot of things about her, and how I view her both positive and negative.
It is just funny how I was talking about her for such a long time, and then I prayed for her before I slept...
I had this amazing dream about her.
Again, honestly, I cannot control my dreams.
It was so powerful...so powerful.
I won't go into details though.
However, when I woke up, I didn't complain, "ARGH! Why was it a dream? Why can't it be real?"
Instead of giving that kind of attitude, I asked God, "Father, what were you trying to show me?"
I was talking about her and praying for her before I slept, so I was wondering if God wanted to reveal something powerful to me.
I am very sure, and no doubt that God placed that dream while I was asleep.
It was like a supernatural work in my sleep.
I never had that kind of dream in my life.
It was so peaceful, and I felt connected with God.
Anyhow, I think this is enough or else people will start getting too curious of who she is...
although Jilly Jill Jill is already wondering who she is.
By the way, I stopped using facebook now.
I am fasting until Christmas, so if you guys want to contact me, then send me an email or leave a comment.
Anyways, I'm done sharing this to you guys, and I'm going to talk to Nathaniel about it when I see him tomorrow or later in the future.

Examples (1 Corinthians 10)

When I was reading the Bible today, God showed me an amazing thing.
Never had I ever thought about this.
What Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10 is very true to me...and I experienced it.
In verse 6, it says, "Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did."
When I was reading the Old Testament and comparing what has been said in the New Testament, I was astonished.
In the New Testament, Jesus and Paul taught a lot about God's commands for us all, or else we'll face judgment.
A lot of times, we just don't see that happening right now.
We disobey God, we commit idolatry, we commit sexual sins...and many more.
Also, why people are suffering right now in this world, and why this and that happened.
Even though you don't any justice from God, you will be surprised when you read the Old Testament and seeing how God judged the Israelite.
Israelite was God's chosen nation.
However, they did all evil and worshiped other gods, and what happened?
Judgment: God never answered them, and He swallowed them.
They disobey God, and what happened?
Judgment: God set apart from Adam and Eve.
They commit sexual sins, and what happened?
Judgment: David displeased and despised God, therefore, God brought calamity upon him...Read 2 Samuel 12.
God showed me more things through His teachings.
Suffering as a Christian.
God took everything from Job, and Job still praised God.
The world is suffering.
During Jesus's time, there were a lot of people suffering from plagues and illness.
Definitely, you will also be surprised to see a lot people suffering in the Old Testament.
Do not yoke with non-believers.
Solomon married tons of non-believers, and guess what happened?
He worshiped other gods with his wives.
I can clearly see why this world is happening the way it is because it also happened in the Bible.
Sure, the New Testament was written around 2000 years ago.
The Old Testament was written a log before the New Testament...I will do more research on that with my youth leader on the origin of the Bible.
I believe there are non-believers who would serve by this blog and read this.
The Bible is not only the "resource" of guidance, but it is also the TRUTH.
Evidence?
Your heart may be hardened, but I bet Pharaoh's heart was a lot hardened than yours in Exodus, who disbelieved God because he believed he was god.
If you are truly seeking God, then I ask that you will take a careful read through the Bible, and you will be surprised how much God will show you.
Contradictions?
I won't discuss or argue with you about it because I believe that this problem has already been solved...just read it EXTRA carefully.

I talked to Nathaniel today...about lots of things.
Share tons of things that were in my heart.
It was a great sharing with him.

Follow-up

I want to do some follow up right now...
Who still reads my blog?
Please comment or find ways to reply back =)

Distracted (Romans 8:5)

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires."
Ouch, that just hit me and my heart.
I have my CMPT project due on Wednesday, and I am still not finished yet...hoping to finish it by tomorrow at school 'cause they Linux.
I have a research paper due NEXT Wednesday...and I feel satisfied that I have written more than 100 words already.
There were so much time for me to do, but I got very distracted today and yesterday.
Distracted by...? Manga.
I am not an anime fan, and I don't often read Manga.
However, when I start a new manga, I get so into it that I could just read non-stop.
I think I understand how manga reader would feel...it get kind of addicting to know what going to happen in the next chapter.
Anyhow, yesterday and today I was using most of my time reading manga called Parasyte.
If I didn't walk into Sakura Media at Metrotown, then I wouldn't have noticed an interesting weird looking page cover of the manga.
What is so interestingly weird about it?
The page was like a freak of nature...and I was like woooooahh...that looks freaky and weird.
So I got plugged into that manga and started reading it online.
In just two days...I finished reading the whole serie...possibly the only serie.
Oh boy, I wasted a lot of time doing something that is meaningless while I could have been doing my research paper and writing my research journal.
There are quite a lot of mangas...and I only read few of them.
One of the them would be "One Piece"...started reading it during Waterloo Project...and it was addicting, however, have not finish reading it yet.
Anyhow, just to be more serious in this blog.
I wish I had used my time more wisely - time management.
I knew that I have projects, assignments, and paper to do, but I went and wasted the time that God has given to me.
Time is so precious.
God can take us away in just a snap.
I desire to use the time for Him and for His glory, not reading a trash of junks that has not much meaning to me.
I was setting my mind on worldly things, and I kind of went deep into it.
According to what Mark Driscoll said, we have the desire to worship something, but are we worshiping something that gives us full satisfaction?
Anyhow, I won't talk about this just yet.
The problem with us, Christians, is that we get so distracted...you name whatever they are.
Set our eyes on what is good.
Focus on where the Spirit is leading.
Today is Thanksgiving day.
It is NOT Turkey day!
Sometimes we are quite self-centered...thinking only about eating something good that gives us pleasure in our mouths instead of thinking what to be thankful for.
Understand what this holiday is about and why it is exist.
However, I don't think it is biblical to have this kind of holiday...not too sure about that.
For me, I want to give thanks that God has been gracious and good to me, and that He has given me a family to live in...
Best of all, He has given Jesus to ALL of us, and also another day to open my eyes in the morning and discover more about Him.
"Renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Don't be shallow

The struggle for me these days in dealing is being shallow.
Project is done and presentation is finished, so I thank God that I am free...for now.
After that, new project has been introduced to the lab.
For this new project, we MUST look for a DIFFERENT partner.
Oh no, this already doesn't good does it?
Well, you are right, this does not sound good at this moment.
'Cause the new partner I will be working look is a female.
What is wrong with that? Being sexist?
Nope, I am not done talking yet.
This female looks so similar to HER.
Her appearance look so much like HER.
Oh man...why am I feeling so shallow!
My heart feels uneasy when I look at her because it feels like I am looking at HER.
When I look her, I am already comparing her figure and proportion with HER.
If you look back to my past...before I came to know Christ, I am a shallow person.
I get attracted to girls easily...due to their appearance.
However, now it is alright...I mean, I acknowledge the appearance of many females in my class.
Don't worry, there is no impure things going on just to be honest.
Stuff will be interesting for the next month...as I am working with someone who looks similar to the one whom I am REALLY attracted to.
As I read Philippians, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Pray for me...that God will continue to protect me from falling into temptation in pursuing...stuff.
Pray for me that I will work well with my partner, and set aside those thoughts.
Pray for me.

Touched!

Thank you, father.
You have kept me safe in your palm for twenty years, while you were merciful over the 17-18 years when I was conceived.
I maybe 20 years old today, but I am spiritually two years old.
I am touched by His love.
Take a guess who REALLY said happy birthday at 12:00am?
I was quite surprise because I thought she has forgotten about it.
What am I going to do for my birthday?
Honestly, I don't host birthday party or dinner, therefore, nothing much is happening...besides me finishing up my homework and handing in my project.
So thank you all for your birthday greetings =)

Lack of love

When I look at the world these days, staring at the nature of the trees and the cars swifting by, I see two things, beauty and chaos.
It is beautiful to see God's creation on this planet and His creativity.
I just ate a fruit at Hanna's place, and I have never seen those fruits before but they look so colorful.
On the contrary, human creativity may be neat, but they can be destructive to the world.
We have science to create things that "helps" us solve problems and make things more "efficient" for us.
Not saying that driving a car or riding a skytrain can be a bad things, however, those little pieces of metal and materials came from God.
Anyhow, back to the topic.
It was a "tragic" to hear one of my friends is going through relationship problems.
Both the couples are Christian.
However, something didn't go so well.
What happened exactly?
How did it just boiled down like that?
I couldn't imagine what will happen to me when I am on a relationship...
"I can't believe a person's heart can change so fast."
Satan can attack really fast.
So guard yourself with the Armor of God.
It is also the lack of God's love.
God is love.
If we lose that kind of love, then we will not understand what love is anymore, thus won't know who God really is and His love for us.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
It is very important to truly understand His love.
Love can be described in many things, but all I can say, love is sacrifice.