Sovereign

Honestly, I don't know what is God's sovereignty is.
He is though, but I don't understand though.
He lets many things happen for a purpose because He knows what is best for all of us.
He is like a Father who loves His children.
But when His children turn away from Him, bad things will be crawling on them because it is our choice to walk away.
At the end of Genesis, Joseph stated this, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
This is one of the ways to show that God is sovereign.
My laptop broke because God is sovereign.
I'm struggling, but God is sovereign.
Still, even though I stated those, it's hard to understand His will, but He is speaking to us very quietly, and we ought to stay still and hear Him.

Rush Hour

The past few days were EPIC.

Not to mention that I am very very tired and exhausted right now, but I'm so glad to be at home again.

I haven't slept at home for two days because I was sleeping on the floor at UBC(Toby's room) and SFU(Allen's room).

Quite frankly, I'm still stressed out right now.

1.) I lost my Calculus folder which has all my printed notes inside and I have my mid-term on Tuesday.

2.) I have a group research presentation that I need to accomplish, and following up with my group members, that is going to be presented on Feb 10th, and I still haven't started my research yet.

3.) Most importantly, I need to rest a lot tonight.

*SIGH*

So much events going on next week and I really want to go, but I think I need to discipline myself.

But I could definitely go to the AWANA camp reunion because I kind of miss them.

But I'll probably not go to the one on Monday(It's a secret).

 

Does God Exist Debate is coming up really soon and my C4C peeps were discussing and praying a lot about it the past week.

People walks around our event table and speaking for own understanding.

A person said, "I don't believe in religion because it causes conflict, and that's why we have wars because of it."

Ron Jeremy stated something very interesting that amused me: "You can't blame it on the porn industry because kids or people are watching it."

Adding on to it: "You can't blame the cigarette industry because people are smoking and getting lung cancer."

Perhaps, I could agree to his statement.

Michael Leahy did said that is it the choice that people are making.

Kind of reflects back to religion.

I could say that too, "You can't blame it on religion because there are wars and conflicts these days."

It is the people's choice that they are making, and they chose to fight and defend their religion.

Maybe this is the choice that people are making, not the groups.

 

Before Ignite started, I was waiting.

Waiting for you my friend...to show up.

Staring down from the ASSC 10081, there were many people walking by me, but neither one of them were you.

Out of many humans in Vancouver, the chance of seeing you is nearly zero, unless God wants to us to encounter each other.

Right now, I'm very self-control.

My heart is not going insane.

I really want to express how gorgeous and Godly you are...to me.

Porn Debate and Friends

Class is starting in 15 minutes or so and I'm just sitting at the library computer doing not very much.
Just to mark this date as an important day for UBC C4C.
IT"S THE PORN DEBATE!
Ron Jeremy vs Michael Leahy...not sure if I could say "versus".
I'm fortunate so have friends *sob*.
Last night, I had so much in mind regarding to the people who are "friends" with me.
What is a friend?
There are two concept we sometimes face in our own little community: Quality and Quantity
On facebook, we have lots of friends.
Does having a lot of friend count for anything?
We'll to be honest, there is something very significant to have a lot of friends.
First, is that you can be in lives and get connect to do some follow up and catching up.
After that, why not talk about the gospel?
Second, if that person is interested in knowing who's Jesus, share the gospel!
Third, if they accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, train them to be God's laborer.
I have 400 friends on facebook and imagine that every one of them came to Christ.
Hallelujah!
Looking for a good quality friend is hard.
Sometimes there are people who just pretends to be your friend or maybe  they don't know you well enough.
Well, nearly around 30%-45% of the people on my facebook friends are my quality friends...maybe since I didn't do the Math.
Brb! CLASS TIME!

 

Anyhow, I just came back from the Porn Debate.

I can say that it wasn't as great as I expected to be because there weren't much debating going on.

Most of the time that was spent was on the Q&A with the students.

The questions that were raised were quite interesting; I never knew some people would have these thoughts in mind.

A lot of people got me tickets and I felt bad because a friend of mine got me a ticket and my other friend bought me a ticket already.

I felt really bad in choosing who to follow, thus ditching my friend for the other friend.

Ronald bought me the ticket when I saw JOanne waiting for me at the advance line.

The feeling of separation kind of struck me when I rejected her invitation while she could have used it for another friend, thus she sat in the other room.

Friends from SFU already reserved a ticket for me, but I also rejected them and sat with UBC.

Not sure about myself anymore, I'm always between two University: SFU and UBC.

I mean...so what if I have friends from both campuses.

Can't I hang out with one of them at a time?

Besides, I haven't seen the UBC people for a while.

It is hard to balance the time you spend with your friends.

There are some friends who you spend the most, and other friends who you don't spend a lot of time with.

I'm thankful and blessed though to have friends.

But I always feel that something needs to be sacrifice.

3 of my friends reserved a ticket for me, but I must choose 1/3.

SFU won't mind if I ditched them, hopefully, since I spend a lot of time with them this semester.

However, two other of my friends are new to my life.

One of them I met last semester, and one from Winter Conference.

I always get this misunderstanding that if I do this, the other individual won't like what I've done.

However, all of us are children of God.

We learn to forgive each other for what we've done.

There might be time of sorrow and conflict, but if we look upon what Jesus have done for us, then we'll understand what it means to forgive.

There is one thing that is very hard for me to forgive though.

Chinese New Year!

Happy Chinese New Year!

I don't have any comment right now, but we'll see how things will go.

A miracle just happened!

My instructor lets me skip class just for Porn Nation!

Youth Memories

As I stepped into the youth room, I still remember my very 1st time when I joined the youth Sunday School.

I still remember when I 1st went to the youth event.

I have tons of pictures though =)

This is a really old photo of when I was grade 9.

 

My old youth Pastor sitting on the table, and Dom playing with the fire, and Joman eating a stick?

 

This is the time when I was grade 10, big jump from the last picture. The event was gym night.

 

This is one of the big youth gathering or we were going my Chinese Pastor's house for potluck. Grade 10

 

 

Masao and Joman were taking "sticker" pictures during Purple Hippo at Metrotown.

 

Christmas Party! Grade 11

 

Ice Skating at 8 Rinks! Grade 11

 

Scavenger Hunt at Metrotown. Grade 11

 

Went to Playland during Summer 2006.

 

This is one of the Church dinner that the youth hosts. They are the servers and cookers! Basically it is a once a year restaurant at church. Some of the youths don't come out to events so this is almost all the people in the youth. Grade 12.

 

The youth went to Hillsongs Concert at UBC. Grade 12.

 

Went to playland during Summer, again, when I just finished high school.

 

Our first youth retreat to Thetis Island. Summer 2007.

 

One of the favourite photos in the retreat! I love hiding behind Scott! Summer 2007

 

Our new youth Pastor(left) coming out for his first youth event, bowling.

 

Fear Factor...dare to finish the bowl? It was basically a competition betwen two teams and we had to make them drink what my team made, instead the host told us to drink what we've made. Seriosuly, it looks like vomit.

 

Three gals from Fear Factor got injured.

 

Our annual youth retreat! Summer 2008.

 

I'm very happy to be part of them in their lives.

Great changes and experiences that I've went through with them.

God Bless them and be with them each day.

Direct them to you and show them your way of truth.

 

Oh yeah! Today is Chinese New Years Eve!

Yeah...I'm not Asian enough =P

I don't even know when is Chinese New Year XD

It's coming!

This morning, I took the sex survey regarding to my sexual behaviour.

For more info, check here: www.mysexsurvey.com

Pornography is really a big in society because almost everyone are victims to it, especially men like me.

It disgusts me when I see women turning into a sex beast or something.

In Japanese culture, porn seems to be fine thing for women.

Many porn-stars looks like the people you walk around school.

Honestly speaking, Most of them have good looking proportion.

Yet it EVEN disgusts me when they go out and sell themselves for sex.

Men are experiencing a lot of pleasures for what they are doing.

Women, especially, enjoy and have pleasure for they are doing.

It doesn't make any sense to me anymore.

Why would they do that to themselves?

They could have raised a good family and had a wonderful husband, hopefully.

They could be loved and have taken responsible.

But NO, they just need to do that in order to make money for themselves!

 How selfish!

Well I don't want to be judgamental, and Lord forgive me.

Do they even look deep down inside themselves and discover who they are?

I wonder how they REALLY feel for doing those act.

 

Family Rules

I went to Willingdon Church for my very 1st time!

It's a huge church and there's almost no room to park my car.

Anyhow, the Scripture reading was in 1 Timothy 5:1-8.

Talked about church family and our own family.

It's very interesting and the preacher was so passionate and such an awesome speaker.

We should all be honoring to our parents during our adult age, but obey them when we're kids.

It really caught my eye so close that I could not let go.

Anyhow, I would love to share it on this blog but talk to me in person about it.

 

Ok, something really made me upset.

"I just told you that I believe that all life is worthless, that we are a coincidence, that we are insignificant to the rest of the universe." by an Atheist Student.

How ridiculously stupid!

Life is worthless?

When I read, I was boiling with anger when he posted it in the Does God Exist Debate event page on facebook.

What a guy.

This is one of my response.

"If it was so, maybe this is why we have wars against each other. I bet many people will disagree with you that ALL life is worthless. I don't know what life you are talking about, but I'm GUESSING that we are lives. For example, if I was to murder someone tonight, and the judge asked me why I murder, I would say that person's life is worthless. I 100% guarantee that Judge will think I'm a psychopath and will put me in a mental institution, which is also a prison. If we look back at the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989, why did the government killed a lot students just because they disagree the policy. I felt so sad when I heard about it. Especially during that big earthquake in China (last year), a lot of people were very focused on that part of the country. But I know that God is so sovereign in many ways that we can't understand."

I just had to let it out.

So many people are dying each day from starvation, murder, wars...and many more.

Our lives are so important and sometimes people don't have the opportunity to live the lives they want.

People want to experience what this world has to offer them, but God has something even better to offer.

I totally don't understand why he thinks like that.

Another thing I notice about his response.

When Allen posted a comment, he didn't responded to him, especially when it was his only comment.

When I posted that it is not possible for us to challenge probability and time, he didn't respond back.

I'm guessing he AGREES with those points but don't give a response to it.

One more perfect from Excellent! but I missed.

I didn't feel right for not blogging yesterday.
This week went alright, so far.
Really do miss sleeping in, but I'm getting that tomorrow!
Accomplished my Calculus assignment, although I'm not sure if I got the answers correct, and handed in my bibliography for English class.
I should sound more deep when I blog because I sound really simple and very boring.
This week is going to be my last, last of what?
I'm going to fast bubble tea and spending money starting in January 26th.
Honestly, I spend nearly $50 per week, and that is not cool.
Waking up in the morning, making my own breakfast, and putting in random dish into my lunch box and there you go! How hard is that?
It's hard when I'm not very motivated.
The earliest time I could wake up to do all that is perhaps 6:15am.
So what does this all have to do with the title?
I strive for my excellency, yet I fail to do so.
If I would to say I could do all those above, yet I couldn't live up to it, then I miss my critical point.
We tend to say this, "Almost, I almost got it."
However, our soul craves for more, and it binds us into it.
Psalm 3:1 "O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me."
There are so many stuff that will come after us if we live up for ourselves.
For me, I know what I need to do.
2 Peter 1:3-4 "His divine power has given
us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of
him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through
these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that
through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the
corruption in the world caused by evil desires."
If we live up and put our trust in God, then impossible is nothing.
We can do this through Christ who is living in us.
Most important thing we need to ask ourselves, Is He steering us or are we steering ourselves?

A marathon?

Everyday, I seem to be at school for 12 hours, which means half of the day I spent was going to school.
Kind of weird how I can be out of the house for that long.
How come I couldn't spent 12 hours with my work?
or, most importantly, with God and reading His words?
12 Hours...half a day...think how much I could accomplish in just half a day.
Except I throw away those hours into the trash can.
For instance, facebook is one of my big problems.
I probably spend at least 3 hours per day on it at home, but that takes away quarter of the day.
That means, I have 9 hours.
At least an hour dinner.
And finally, 8 hours of sleep.
Now, I don't always spent too much at school, well only Tuesday, and Thursday.
I spend more time sleeping on Monday, say around 10 hours or little more.
Wednesday (today), it's usually the same on Monday.
If I get tempted to go to CHQ, I spend at least 1.5 hour throwing away the money and letting the machine eat it all.
*Sigh* So much time I've wasted for past years.
I want to go on a resolution.
But I'm afraid I'll break it.
Fasting on facebook...seems very hard.
Maybe I shouldn't commit so soon or else someone will pull me into it.
So many verses in the Bible that says we should commit to the Lord.
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this." Psalm 37:5

 

 

My mom got her stuff stolen from her car, and I was thinking, why didn't you call the police?

It's too late, now I must pay back for the stolen item that the guest had given to me.

I thought God blesses me.

When I heard about it, my heart was harden.

But I was thinking to myself, you are more important to God than just those stolen items.

He loves you, mom.

 

As I was coming home from school, I was deciding on how I should commit myself to God.

I am ready to bring on whatever God is challenging me, and that is limit my time on computers, except if I have homework I need to type.

Seeing that I probably use at least 3 hours of computer at home, why not fast on it?

Make a limit, just like I use to do when I need to do my homework.

30 minutes? Is that good enough? That could be a good time to rest my brain, right?

I made a schedule when 2nd semester nearly begun, and I haven't been following it.

I need to be discipline and ready to glory God.

There might be some obstacles inside of me, but I know that my God will fight with me all the way until the end.

Just now, my brother said God is just an imagination that you believe in.

A friend's friend of mine said that you don't know if He exists.

Well, I'm here to tell you that my God, whom I worship, is mightier than just an imagination, He's real and alive TODAY.

He's holding the universe and galaxy at the palm of His hand, this shows how BIG He is.

And we're just those small and tiny little people, whom our knowledge, logic, theology, and science can't exceed to Him.
Oh, He's big and mighty alright? Dare you go out and search for Him in outer space because He's outside the universe.

For example, we're just a fish and we can't go beyond the tank that we're swimming in, and God is outside that tank, feeding us and caring for us.

This is the God whom I worship, love, and adore.

 

Hypernate

Brutal, just brutal.
Restless, just so restless.
Am I suffering from narcolepsy?
Today, I feel very energized when I went to school.
Perhaps, I think, Calculus made me fall asleep because the instructor was so boring.
After class, ate lunch, and went to the study place and fell asleep while reading.
Afterward, I went to the couch and slept for 1.5 hours.
How pathetic I am or maybe not.
Maybe my brain does need a lot of rest.
Anyhow, next week from today is the Porn Nation Debate.
I really want to go but I end class at 6:20pm.
Hopefully I can rush there and be late for half an hour.
Then, another two week later is Does God Exist Debate.
The event page on facebook is going quite well.
Discussing with this atheist about controversial topics and stuff.
When I read some of his responses, I was fascinated by his comment.
At first when he pointed out non-believers are going to hell and how Christian of you, I was hit because I don't remember saying that until I notice it was another person who made a comment about it.
If you're reading this, go check it out and participate in the discussion.

Who am I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth 
Would care to know my name 
Would care to feel my hurt 
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star 
Would choose to light the way 
For my ever wandering heart 

Not because of who I am 
But because of what You've done 
Not because of what I've done 
But because of who You are 

I am a flower quickly fading 
Here today and gone tomorrow 
A wave tossed in the ocean 
Vapor in the wind 
Still You hear me when I'm calling 
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

When I hear that lyric, I feel that I am very unworthy, yet He still loves me. His grace sustains me and holds me together. 

The past few days, I've not been very productive with my school work. I'm not in a mood for work but for some pleasure. 

I know what I need to do, but there are so many things that are holding me back. 

I feel very tired every morning (I should seriously stop complaining and stop being selfish). 

I keep telling myself I'm going to do this and do that...but I can't...

When I was coming back home, I encountered an old friend of mine, whom I have nearly forgotten. 

When I saw him, I ignored him...what a hyprocrite I am. Instead, he took initiative and started a conversation with me. 

When I look at myself, I'm the one whos ignoring people, not people ignoring me. 

He and I caught up with our lives and shared what we're doing right now.

He said he's planning on moving to California and live by himself because he feels like a kid living with his family. 

I told him I'm living with my family, does that make me a kid?

It's not reasonable to just move out just because of that. 

I told him the things that you'll be doing when you're living by yourself: taking care of yourself, cooking, washing your clothes, doing house chores, and many stuff. 

He said he was sure about moving out, but honestly speaking, he's not ready. 

He going through a learning disability just like I suffered when I was young. 

He's still thinking about it when I told him, but hopefully he won't regret about it in the future. 

I gave him a lot of suggestions for school, such as going to adult school and improve your grades, then transfer to college, then transfer to university. 

After that, I engaged into a spiritual conversation. 

He said he believes there is a God that exist, however, he does not believe in religion. 

I told him that I'm not a religious person even when I'm a Christian. 

I told him to call me in the future. 

I really hope that God will use me to work with him and lead him to God through the Holy Spirit. 

I've spoken to him about God many times in the past but he doesn't seem to understand the difference between religion and relationship. 

Please pray for me because I feel like crap these days. 

Hopefully, I'll open up the Bible and read it more often and let the words sink into my heart and prepare me for the upcoming days.

Barf

Didn't accomplish much these past days.

I didn't even do much.

I went to Eliza's(Not beibei) Birthday dinner at Shabusen (all you can barf).

I'm so full and I can't help but saying this,

YAWN!

I think my stomache is absorbing my brain energry to digest the foods.

Anyhow, I learned a lot these past days, spiritually, and I'll share it with you ladies later.

And gentlemen.

 

Bloggers

I signed up for an account at bloggers: http://tommy100689.blogspot.com/

So, I practically posted two entries in one day but differen topics.

As a blogger, I really want to express and tell something about what I did.

I went to E-Spot and throwing money away into the game machine and wasting myself, again!

And then, I just read Jessica's testimony of how she became a Christian.

She told me that she reads me blogs, so yes I did stalk your facebook and see if you had any blogs.

It's very unique and God bless you.

Futhermore, I'm tired.

Precious moments

Today is the day, You have made.
I just started this new blog site because it looks like an interesting place to blog...i guess?
So I'll stop blogging at my own blog, which is at http://lltommy100689.spaces.live.com/
Anyhow!
Today is my Pastor's farewell lunch party and it was nice to see my bro and sis gather together and appreciate what he has done through the Holy Spirit.
He only came for 4.5 months so I don't know him too well.
Time really goes by really fast.
I mean the last 4.5 months I spent was my 1st semester at SFU.
I can't imagine what God has been doing for the past months.
Thank God for the precious moments He has given me.

Above all clouds

Being up at the mountain(SFU) feels like there is something very special.

"The city on a hill cannot be hidden."

Looking down at the city...wait, I don't see anything because the clouds are blocking my view.

WOAH! That's crazy! I'm above the clouds!

 

Isn't it beautiful?

I never knew this that SFU could be this cool.

Today was Ignite, C4C weekly meeting, and Mike Wither(how to spell it), National Director, made a speech about Prayer and Fasting.

I learned a lot and made me thought of my prayer life.

Yes, I've been praying everyday and speaking to God about my life and situation.

I want to commit into fasting in prayer.

I want to pray for Derek Hill, the Debate, my church and the leaders, and more.

And I also want to pray especially for a dear friend of mine who is struggling with melancholy.

God, you're above all, especially the clouds, even though it's pretty but you're far more beautiful than the pictures above and I know that you will work in each and every person's life.

Yawn

*Yawn*
Sitting at the SFU Library at Surrey Campus seems very time consuming.
I have a re-write draft that is due in 4 hours and I haven't started yet.
I'm not if it's due today because she said something about next week...hmm...oh well.
Calculus was so confusing today...well I wasn't paying attention actually because I was finishing my homework during class...XP
Hopefully the teacher can be more precise and specific of what he's teaching.
He just points this and points that and points to the answer..."Now that's how you get the answer...understand? Easy right?...*silence*...Good!"
I am in desperate in need of sleep or rest.
Perhaps let me take a few minute nap and I'll get on with some work.
Be Right Back.

Love includes Patience

I'm sitting at the SFU computer labs reading my Calculus study guide and wondering about something.
It's almost the end of the day and so many things has happened.
I went to the prayer meeting this very early morning.
I took initiative of evangelism with Angie and had good conversations with students, one of them was from my high school tee hee.
Evangelism takes a lot of patience and confidence to actually get to the gospel presentation.
Anyhow, we need to love that people that we talked to as well.
I was still thinking if I could get through this semester, but like I said to Kenny, "You won't fail!"
So I won't fail.
And a whisper just came to my ear just now...*Pastor Jeff: Finish well and don't regret about it tomorrow.*
I regret for wasting so much time last semester, but lets make everyday be meaningful.
Lets make today very meaningful, and very special.
*sigh* Calculus and Discrete Math...takes a lot of patient to understand it.
I will gain victory over both of you with the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Peer Pressure

Today, I went and spoke to my advisor and she was very keen in helping me.
I was relieved that I dropped Physics, phew!
However, there is something worse that lies ahead...REQUIRED TO WITHDRAW.
Nope, I'm not going to fail right now.
My advisor told me that in order to stay at SFU, I MUST get a minimum of at least a C or 2.00 GPA.
When she said, it was as if her voice or "super sonic" pushed through my chest.
To be honest, I'm quite scared of what is going to happen this semester.
She said it's easy at first, but gets deadly when it goes on.
Will I do bad on all my courses?
I'm pretty motivated now to get rid of my probation and get myself into Good Academic Standing.
But, the words she said will not affect me and God's fellowship.
She did gave me a lot of good advise on how to prepare and study for my classes, so I'm pretty convinced
I must trust in God to get me through this, even though I have to do my parts too.
I asked that the Holy Spirit would guide and discipline me (repeated from the last post).
Another thing I want to point out is this summer.
I think I need a little bit of push to get myself to jump off the edge.

Relief

I have a big confession to those who are reading this: I dropped Physics.

Reasons?

I hate Physics...the end.

Why would I take something that I don't like?

6 Undesignated Breadth Credit means I can take ANYTHING outside my Major or Program, so why not take something I want to study?

After I clicked the drop button, I know after that something might come up.

I felt this sense of relief.

Furthermore, things got heat up on my mom and brother's side when I told them about it.

I should considerably learn how to make better decisions.

I told them that I want to get a scholarship with three courses.

My mom was proud when I said it.

But will I get it?

I don't know.

I have a diagnostic test for Calculus tomorrow and I barely even study for it.

*sigh* I need some motivation and the Holy Spirit to guide and discipline me.

At the edge

What happens if you're at the edge?
There are many different kinds of edges.
I can say the edge of the table, the edge of failing, the edge of falling off a cliff...etc.
In my situation right now, I'm at the edge of decision.
I'm thinking and praying what to do.
Should I got on Waterloo Project or Summer School?
Or perhaps right now, should I drop Physics?
Why you ask?
It does not fulfill the requirement I need, except it gives me the credit.
I took this course because I want to challenge it again, and thought it will fulfill the requirement I need(WQB Requirement...check SFU for more info)
My professor told me it doesn't fulfill it, but he wasn't too sure about it.
I'm sitting here right now, thinking if I should wait until Tuesday and talk to my Adviser.
Should I skip that class and the lab?
Could it be a risky choice?
I don't want to waste my time anymore, and I wish the things I'll be doing be beneficial!

Sabbath Day

I was told that the Sabbath is supposed to be a day of rest.
This is one of the amazing things that God did...is that He rested on the 7th day.
When I think about it, I think upon some other requirements that I need to accomplish, such as homework.
I should give myself sometime to reflect upon God.
Today, it was Men's Breakfast, and I led the worship.
It was my very 1st time that I've ever lead and play guitar at the same time.
I felt great and I should pursue and practice more.

One more hour until the end of the day, and the end of the week, and the end of this day...forever.
Can't look back from what just happened, but life goes on.
I get older and older each day and slowly builds up.
Who knows what is going to happen in my future.
Who knows what career I'll be doing.
Who knows if I'm going to get married or not.
Who knows who's going to be my wife.
Who knows how my children will turn out to be.
Who knows...who knows...who knows.
God knows.(in reference to Psalm 139)
Prepare the way for me, Oh Lord.
To your kingdom where Your children belongs.

Stike One! Strike Two! Strike Three! You're Out!

Today, I stumbled upon a friend who haven't been to C4C for a while. I asked him how he's been these days and how come I didn't see him last semester. It seems he is struggling with Christianity and have some doubts about it. "I don't think Jesus is the only way to God." "You can't love anyone without God's love." "If Christianity is not a religion, then we shouldn't go to church." My heart was stoke of how he's being very skeptical about it. I only knew him last semester and didn't spoke to him that often...and he sounded very passionate about God. I mean, these questions were hard for me to explain it to him although I do know the answers to it. If you're reading this, please pray for him because I know that God will answer his questions.

Finally! I saw that person today! I haven't that person for almost a month ever since we did an exchange. I was very happy to see that he/she is alive and still. I wonder if that person and I will ever have a serious talk about what to do. Seems like my mind is always fantasizing about the future. I've been seeking the kingdom of God and I wonder if that person is running beside me right now...? It strikes me how I always have a casual talk with that person instead of something very serious. Hopefully there is something beyond greater things in what God is doing in our lives.

I shared my story of how God showed me something in Winter Con to the people at Ignite. Seems like God is calling me to Waterloo Project, but at the same time I really need to take some courses. I was debating on what to decide....Summer School or Project??? I've been praying to see where God is showing or directing me. My friend and I were talking about courses and catching up and stuff. It seems like in University, you can take as much course as you want, and you don't need to rush it. Another friend told me that she's in 3rd year and she still deciding when to declare her Major. I was astonished of how University life is all about. Some people takes like 6 years or 8 years to graduate. I was thinking, hmm if I'm not in a rush, why not go on project? Should I go or not go? GO! We ARE FIGHTING DREAMERS!

I'm out and off to Waterloo Project this summer (hopefully). Please pray if I made the right decision.

Evening

Another one of the biggest struggle, for me, as a student is constantly getting headaches.
Another one is planning on how to get my degree.
I feel like a stubborn person who thinks he can handle and plan many things by himself/herself...how naive.
I signed up for an appointment to meet and an adviser, well I just made a drop in.
Sat there and waited for an hour and finally took a look at the computer saying that I must MAKE AN APPOINTMENT BY PHONE OR ONLINE.
Epic Failure for me.
Another thing we struggle as a student is that we are all very tired out from school.
While waiting, my eyes keep closing itself and I must to stay awake for my later afternoon class...OH boy.
I hate late classes because it is a pain to wait for 5 hours every Tuesday and Thursday.
I could try and go and do some evangelism except I can't find anyone who wants to go with me.
I'm pretty fearful when I go sharing all by myself.
I guess God is challenging me to take a step out of my comfort zone and JUST DO IT.
Going to try and keep myself steady..."hang in there."
(DUDE or DUDETTE! Where are you? Haven't seen you ever since we did an exchange!)

Sitting right here in front of my computer and seeing that it's almost 8:00pm, which reminds me of something...REVolution.
Because of the evening class I need to attend, I could not make it.

*Sigh* To be very dead honest, I really do miss UBC.
Before, I don't even know why I'm in SFU.
I wanted to do a Joint Major with Criminology and Psychology, but things are probably going to change.
I haven't even decided what I want to do in future and one of the focuses that I'm doing is Mathematics.
Not sure where God is leading me, but I know it's going to be good even though I have to go through many obstacles.
If I was to transfer from SFU to UBC because I want to go into a Science Program, would I consider myself as traitor to SFU C4C?
Lets not think about "want" because that sounds like a selfish word, but what God needs me to do.
Spending more time with SFU C4C is great, but where are they during school time?
The reasons why I decided to go to SFU is because of the Criminology
Program and probably the significant other that I'm pursuing to reach.
Perhaps I'm wrong; I'm not good at English, especially the essays and papers and vocabulary.
I didn't do too well in English 12, but I actually did really well in Math 12 without studying much.
Math is interesting and many deep description in it and I really enjoy numbers, although it does give me some headaches.
Should I pursue something that I know I can do well on and be interested in it?

Dear Heavenly Father,
I'm in a deep situation in deciding where to go. For You, I will try to
obey You and listen to Your callings. Let me not be stubborn and naive
with the knowledge or experience that I have. I sin against You
everyday. I know I'm selfish in many ways. I know that I'm unworthy to
call on You, but because of grace, Your mercy, You came down to this
world to save us. I thank You, Lord, for being my shepherd. Command me
and show me where You're leading me like a shepherd who leads the
flock. This I ask in Jesus Precious name. Amen.

RING!

I hate it when an alarm just rings and wakes me up, not to mention that it was not even my own alarm.
It rang there for like few minutes and found out that it wasn't an alarm, it was a phone call.
I had an interesting dream last night that felt so real but I'm not going to share it.
 My bell(thought) was ringing too!
I still can't decide if I need to go to Summer School or Waterloo for this Summer.
I'm glad my mom "lets" me, but committed to work part-time after project, which is not that bad.
At the same time, I want to take some elective courses over the Summer.
Heavenly Father, direct to where you're leading me because I can't make any determination.


It's hard to know who I am as a learner.
I heard of a phrase that has regard to that sentence above.
I hope you fail because you'll learn you own mistakes.
Not sure if I interpret it correctly but I believe it's true most of the time.
"When will they ever learn?"
People can sometimes be so stubborn and just go at it without knowing their own consequences.
School has began yesterday and I already have lots of work to do.
I went to all my classes and found out that two of my professors have an ascent...oh how lovely.
One prof sounds like he's choking himself and the other one is quiet.
I must stay focus and be motivated!
I know there are far more greater things that is going to happen in the future, but for now, I got to keep up.
*staring at Calculus and Physics*

1st day of school in the year of 09

Since school was canceled yesterday.
I'll say that school officially starts right here, today.
The art of waking up early again is such a pain.
My eyes were tired and I didn't want to wake up.
But something, that shouldn't be spoken, woke me up.
Today is going to be a long day.
Perhaps not since it is going to be an introduction to the course.
Usually in the beginning of class, the prof introduces himself to the class and yapping on the course syllabus.
I took a glance at the Math 150 outline and found out that students are to take some diagnosis test to see where you are at in Math.
Hopefully I still remember some Mathematics in Math 12 and HOPEFULLY I'll score a perfect on that test...well it's only 5%
I wonder if it's going to be a pain to be away from home for another 12 hours...?
Anyhow, debating whether if I should follow my brother or not, but possibly going to bus there myself because I want to check if student loan gave me any $ yet.
I'm kind of worried, which I shouldn't be, about the loan because they still haven't transfer it into my account yet.
Anyhow, pray that God will lead and direct me.

Update on Campus
So I'm just sitting here for almost 1.5 hour waiting for my next class to start.
Each day feels like a depressing moment.
Perhaps it's just the weather condition...errr rain...
Every time the weather gets dark, I get pretty lonely inside myself.
It was cold and melancholic.
First class, which is Calculus, was at Surrey campus and the prof had an ascent.
He's Chinese and, seriously, I can almost not understand what he's saying.
It was so refreshing looking at numbers and learning about functions and math model.
Basically it's almost a review from high school Math.
I get very intimate with Math and somehow I love writing numbers and graphs.
So I guess the class is alright with the exception of the Prof's ascent and his teaching style...he's pretty boring.
I arrived at the Burnaby Campus and when I enter the Convocation Mall, it was kind of dark inside.
I went in to Maggie Benson and bought a Bubble Tea, oh how I crave the taste of Milky Coffee.
I encountered Joy and Jamie and sat with them for a while.
As we left Maggie, I finally noticed why the Convocation Mall is kind of dark.
It is because of the snows that are covering up the roof top...how silly of me.
So now I'm here killing some time and reading Soul Cravings.
It's interesting to read about the Intimacy that we crave for.
It's true that LOVE is very important in our human survival as indicated in the Psychology Textbook.
What is this thing? Why do we even have it?
As I kept on reading, Edwin indicated some points in which I won't spoil it for people who are going to read this blog.
Anyhow, so many things to do for the preparation for school!
Buying textbooks, paying my tuition fees(thank God that the student loan has arrived) and accessories.
Blogging seems to be fun again when I really want to rant about random things or maybe stay away from facebook.
Being a Christian is a GREAT life after all! but not an easy life.

New Year

The celebration of the New Year was awesome.
Winter Conference was also a good life changing experience.
It's hard to commit myself to the 2010 Pledge.
Where I will be praying for the campus and going out sharing with the students who are lost.
Sometimes it's hard to get motivated, well most of the time I should say.
School has started and today classes got canceled due the poor condition of the weather.
At first I was very happy about it, but now it's going to be hectic for everyone.
I wonder why wouldn't they end the semester a bit later..
Anyhow, classes are going to be tough, or easy for me to pass all my courses with B+...hopefully.
I already messed up the last semester and I don't want to mess it up again.
Or else I might get bashed out of the campus.
I had a dream last night and it was depressing.
My father was there.
I was wondering...when was the last time I have seen him.
This year is the 6th year that I haven't seen him or truly spoken to him.
When I saw him, I hated him.
I was rebellion and I didn't want to see him again.
In reality, I still love him.
When I look around me, people who has father aren't very pleased with it.
I was going through facebook and saw a group called "I hate my dad".
I went in there and saw so many people saying distasteful stuff about their father.
Specifically speaking, they said their father takes over their life and being "bossy".
I was thinking, "Wow these kids have a father, and they don't bless it."
If I see my father again, how would I react towards him?
Can I truly learn to forgive him for what he has done?
There so many mysteries in his life that I don't know about.
Maybe, just maybe God will show me in the future.
Perhaps I shouldn't think about it right now and focus more on what in front of me right now.
I can do it. I'm counting on God. I'm willing to serve Him and obey Him(trying my hardest).
I guess this is how I should start off my story of 2009? Sure why not? =D