Biblical Conviction

ARE YOU LIVING FOR GOD?
ARE YOU HONORING GOD?
ARE YOU SANCTIFIED BEFORE GOD?
LOVE AND INTAMACY WITH GOD!
SAY "NO" to ungodliness.

BE REMINDED!

These are the things I wrote down on my stickies note.
So many times I fail, which is true because I am a sinner and I do stumble.
For readers, either Christians or non-believers, most of the time, I do chase after things that will turn to dust.
When I do sin, it feels like a sword sliced my spirit...and I lose my self-esteem.
When I do sin...especially with the danger of addictions...it feels like I have fallen into a pit.
When I fall into it, it spiritually hurts me...yes, it does hurt.
And when it hurts, it will take time for me to climb back up.
When I neglect that pain, it will be even hard to climb back up because I haven't let God lift me up instead using my own strength, thus giving myself a vulnerable attack from Satan.
Reminds me of Awana Camp, how I learned more about the Armour of God, always equip myself each morning.
I haven't been doing that.
I just wake up and walk out "naked".
When I do sin, especially breaking that covenant with eyes(Job 31:1), I am convicted that I am not only sinning against God, but also dishonoring her.
I confess.
There is a this girl in three of my classes who looks like her.
The way she dresses are modest....you know, casual wear.
I wasn't lusting on it, but I was idolizing it.
I was thinking...hmm, she and her do look kinda look alike, but why won't she dress up like her?
In my thought I was thinking, "Imagine she dressed up like that".
Full of depravity in my mind...full of wicked things that God hates...especially the inner me.
I hate those things, but the sin itself do it.
Reminds of what Paul said in Romans 7:7-25 when he was struggling with sin.
However, I am no longer a slave to the law of sin, but a slave to God's law.
I praise God...for His love for the world that He sent Jesus Christ to die for us so that die for all of us so that we won't perish, but have eternal life.
Through Jesus Christ, I no longer have to take pride in being good to the law.
What I mean is that following Jesus Christ and developing this personal relationship with Him is important.
As we continue to be obedient to Him, He will empower us with the Holy Spirit.
It is said that we are to be imitators of Jesus.
In the progress, I am continuing to recognize my sin a lot more.
Once I recognize it, repent from my sin and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I do desire to be sanctified each morning before God.
I do need reminders though or else I will walk astray...especially when I don't read the Bible.
Prayer Request
That I will have victory over my lust for others...battling with my eyes when I outside of my house, and battling my body inside of my house.

I am sorry my friend.
Last night or before, I had a dream about you.
In that dream, you told me you cannot be with me because you have a better person to be with.
You went off and be with that person.
Myself...isolated from you.
I wept.
I can say that I nearly lost trust on all the women when it comes to being in a relationship.
In that dream, I thought you were a hypocrite.
You told me you weren't ready for relationship, yet you want to be in a relationship, but with another better person.
I nearly lost trust.
Trust...is important.
If there is no trust, then a relationship or marriage will not even last.
I'll also throw out love just to give some contexts because it is also important.
Out of all that, Christ needs to be in the center of relationship and marriage.
He is the one who we need to look to.
For now, I need to work on that myself.

Rest

I absolutely, certainly, am in need of a day to rest.
I need my Sabbath!
Quite a lot of assignments, and quizzes to work on by this week.
Projects are due this Friday and next week.
Now that I think about it, I want my summer back =(
In regards about work and not taking a Sabbath, I feel bad about it.
Sometimes I kind of worry that if I rest for one day, I would have more to do the next day.
But yeah, as a weak person as I am, sometimes I fail to trust God on that...confession!
Lord, I ask for Your forgiveness.
I wonder does the Bible ever distinguish work and school work?
Because when you work in a regular job, you don't really have homework to do and also have some days of rest.
However, when it comes to school work, I have homework and I don't have anytime to rest.
Bleh, why does University have to let student suffer from not letting them have enough rest????
Even the time management stuff was stupid, can't crunch in a rest day.
Anyhow, I finish ranting.
I am still glad God has given us some time to rest and nap in the middle of the day.

Treasure Him first.

For just a brief moment, I learned that everything I do, everything I plan, it will go to waste.
I will fail in attempts to live up to the standard.
I just have recent thoughts about her.
Because I saw her and chat with her yesterday, I had many thoughts about her.
(Sleeping while reading)
(Drinking some warm teas.)
(Studying together)
(Washing dishes with her mom)
(Talking to his dad)
It is not that these thoughts are bad to think about.
However, it is the Holy Spirit who will convict me of my sins.
I know I shouldn't be angry, frustrated, lusting, prideful, and...list of sins.
God knows that I will go through those moments.
He sees it and he already burning when I sin.
It is just so frightening that God is burning in wrath.
I confess...I struggle in repenting...and I ask for Your forgiveness.
May I grow more in repentance through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Let me put You first.
May I treasure You first.
I have laid down all my things to You, and I am willing to walk with You, and taking that step of faith.
It is just like playing poker...except in a different way...you laid down all your chips(all in) because you have faith that you'll win.
I am all in on the God that I believe in, and I am putting my trust, hope, and faith in Him, that I may receive His great reward in heaven.
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Another day to remember

My mom said, "Tommy, it seems that God is good to you. You have a wonderful mother, and great friends who care for you."
My mom said, "Tommy, when do you think I will retire? When you work, I will retire and study the Bible."
My mom said, "Tommy, I don't like how your nose is kind of bend, but I think God likes it the way He made it." (I think she said it)

It seems that relationship involves quite of long distance.
Jonny was in Vancouver and Phobelyn was in the Philippines.
Angel is in Langley(TWU) and Caleb is in West Vancouver.
Angie is in North Vancouver and Mike is in Edmonton.
Eliza is in Victoria(UVic) and Masao is in Vancouver.
Jason was in Philadelphia and Melissa was in Toronto...and now they are married.
Jessica is in Burnaby and Mark is in Saskatoon.

Funny thing about long distance...can also relate to our relationship with Christ.
Jesus was here on earth, and now He is in heaven ruling the world.
He is the king and the man who has authority over all things.
Just thinking about relationship with Christ, He is further than we could imagine, yet we could still have this intimate relationship with Him.
  He has already left us His number to call on Him, which is the Bible.
Everytime we read His word, we learn so much and know so much about God.
When we read the New Testament, we learn more about Jesus and the Father, especially the Gospel.
Us, the church, is His bride.
For me, it seems she is close to me(Physically), but seems distanced away from me(Relationship).
Christ is more oppose than that.
We may not see Him physically, but He is here spiritually and asking you to receive Him.
This is an invitation that Christ has made.
We can receive that invitation and start our relationship with Christ.
It interesting how we human always need a second thought before we initiate this relationship.
Why though?
Why is it that we don't want to initiate this relationship?
One of the biggest reason is that we are not ready yet.
Relationship with Christ and Relationship with person are somewhat common, but somewhat different.
It is more important to be more intimate with Christ before we get intimate with a person.
Christ teaches us how to love.
Christ the person who we can trust.
The Bible teaches us about relationship and what to do look for in a person.
Believe it or not, but the Bible gives us the full aspect of relationship.
Song of Songs is one of them.
Talking about this is already making my eyes watery.
But I was quite off topic.
I want to call you......
I want to know more about you...
This long distance really makes me miss you more.
Sometimes, I just want to give her up.
Perhaps I should just stop thinking about this.
Jealousy is already driving me insane.
My mind and heart is causing me to do something stupid.
Self-control...patience...be empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
"You are not ready to be in a relationship until you learn how to not be in a relationship."
What Nathaniel meant was you got be learn how to be lonely and what it really is.
Lonely
Lonely..
Lonely....
Lonely......
Lonely........
I posted an entry regarding to this.

Hmm...*chuckles*...guess what my mind is thinking?
I want to say, "You are not fun. You are too busy for me. Maybe you and I can just friends..."
And Guess WHAT MIND! YOU ARE NOT SPIRITUALLY RENEWED!
SATAN! GET OFF MY MIND!
She is not too busy for God. She is amazing. She is gorgeous. She is devoted to Christ. I don't care what her profession of faith is, but I can see she is doing some big for God's kingdom.
I will honor her. I will respect her. I will care for her. I will be considerate to her. I will sacrifice for her.
MOST IMPORTANTLY WHICH ADDS UP TO THIS
I will love her just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
This is what I call step of faith or stepping stone!.
I don't just say it, but I will do it by the power of the Holy Spirit because I am just a bloody sinner who needs God's teachings.
James 2:17-18

Everyone needs to be reminded

When it comes to getting lost, I get really lost.
Even reading scriptures and seeking answers from God, I still need to talk to Him more often.
You know that when a person who says, "I'm alright", but honestly how often do we usually lie to ourselves?
Perhaps it is just only from my point of view...sorry for being bias.
But ask yourselves this question, "where in the point am I struggling with?"
There was this deep burden in me that I want to tell the people how I am feeling.
I am urging to tell people that I am struggling and I need some guidance from someone.
I talked to Serena last night and...as usual...I would say, "I am not completely alright."
Then later on, I burst forth and shared a lot of my struggles and pain that I was going through.
She gave me a reminder, "When you get frustrated with yourself, you need to turn this over to God because we can't do anything by ourselves."
Just *SNAP*, I was awaken from that statement.
She's right.
I can't do anything about it besides lifting these problems up to God...and also share it with others so I could be reminded by things.
It is God who is my comforter and shelter.
He is my strength when I am weak.
When I fall down he picks me up.
When I am dry he fills my cup.
To give up I will be a fool.
God, you are my all in all.
Thank you for the great reminder.
We all need to be reminded.
I am grateful and blessed.
LOL, now I am cheerful =)

Jesus is Glorious

Everything will be alright.
He will take care of us.
Through the deepest pain that I could possibly endure, I will continue to stand firm and say, "You are still glorious."

Time is near

As I was reading 1 Timothy the other day, I had sudden shock...and had some disturbing fantasies.
It is either Jesus is going to take her away first, or He'll take me away first.
I was surveying the people around me.
The survey was about the people, my friends and family, who will suddenly go to the hospital.
How will I react to it?
For my families, indeed, I will rush to the hospital because they are my closest people and blood-related.
Closest brother and sister in Christ...my church family.
I will also rush to the hospital because they are the people who brought me to the place where I am today, and we also grew up together during High School.
If it's other friends...like C4C, no offense or anything but...I don't have this deep connection with them that will cause me to rush to the hospital; however I will pray for their health and lift them up to God's both mighty hands.
If it was her...I will throw down tons of things and immediately rush to the hospital...even though she is so far away.
I don't understand why I had this emotion.
I am not favoring anybody because it is a sin.
However, this has nothing to do with favoritism...it has something to do with intimacy that I have for someone.
It was a scary fantasy that I had.
Almost made me cry...watching her lying down on the bed...waiting upon the Lord to take her away.
Her family...and relatives were around her.
I came into a sudden realization where I need to SNAP OUT OF IT.
I need to be reminded that God is good in every situation because He is good.
Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me that God has a great plan for my future, just as He promised for those who believe in Him.
Most of the time, we, including me, all need to ask ourselves this question:
Will I continue to believe God is good even though this huge shock/incident happens?
It is hard, but it is also a challenge to see who God is.
He is just, and judgment upon all creations.

First Day of school

I am thankful that Josh told me that there was a lab or else I would have missed a lot of information.
Today, two statements were made: It feels like another year of year; It feels like another semester instead.
After four months of resting from school, it does feel like another year of school; however, if I was to continue studying during the summer semester, it would feel like another semester to me.
All I can say is, there's anotehr 52 pages of reading to do, few assignments to do before next week, few more assignments to do before next week, and some more studying to do already.
I can feel that the stress is building up on me, and there are many things to knock down before the weekend passes by.
In terms of that, I can say that statement again made by my youth leader or Sunday School teacher from the last entry.
It is not about "succeeding" in school while studying at SFU, but it is about growing in Christ regardless of whether good or bad things happen because God is in control of everything and He is sovereign.
As I was reading Isaiah, I encountered this verse, "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."
Reading the Bible is not about just reading a simple little verse and start ignoring the context behind that verse.
Anyhow, there are so much analyzing to do for Isaiah because it is a complicated book to understand...I think.
Stand firm.
Keep the faith.

Blessed (continue)

Continuing from my last entry, I was reminded about something that taught me long ago.
I count each moment as a blessing.
My mom's friends told me about Matthew 5.
Yes, I know what that verse talks about.
However, once I opened to God's words again, my eyes felt so refreshed and I learned something again.
From my last entry, Matthew 5:3-4 spoke to me.
Yes, during that moment, my spirit was poor and I felt heavy burdened.
There were so much going on that I didn't even realized I desperately needed to acknowledge God's sovereignty.
I was carrying too much stuff.
I told God that I don't want to carry this burden.
God spoke to me through 1 Peter 4:7.
It was a great reminder that I can't do everything myself.
Without Him, I am nothing.
I lift everything up to Him because I know He'll take care of it.
It was such a great blessing.
My whole body felt so light and felt peace.
I wonder what will happen?
School is starting tomorrow!
4 months of vacation was just too much.
At least two months is enough for me.
I felt bored doing not a lot of things beside some chores.
At least school will keep me busy for another four months =)
I am praying that I will continue to grow in the Lord.
One of my Sunday School teachers taught me and the youth about his school life:

But
this story isn't about "doing well in school." It's about growing in
Christ even when you are not doing well in school. This story is about
God doing something through you that you alone cannot do.

So
step out in faith. If you succeed, bless God for the open door. If you
fail even though you tried, bless God for closing an unnecessary door.
As long as you do all things to the best of your ability, you can be
confident that the result is God's will.

Jesus is King of kings
and Lord of lords. He is also the Principal of principals. Teacher of
teachers. He is in control of every institution. If it is his will, you
WILL get into whatever school or program. He will accomplish it. If he
says "no" just be still and know that he is God. If he cares enough to
feed the birds of the air, no doubt he will feed you and clothe you -
however way he wills. Don't ever lose faith.

Blessed

I am blessed in every way.
Through struggles, I am blessed.
Through hardships, I am blessed.
Through suffering, I am blessed.
Through disappointment, I am blessed.
Through patience, I am blessed.
Through MANY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS, I am blessed.
I may have went through all this, but I anticipate more to come.
There will be times I have to endure a lot of pain.
There will be times when I have to work extra hard.
There will be times when I need to discipline myself.
There will ALWAYS be times when I must wrestle with my sins.
However, this is important too.
In the future, I must protect my love one.
In the future, I must honor my love one.
In the future, I must be loyal to my love one.
In the future, I must respect my love one
In the future, I must provide for my love one.
In the future, I must love for my love one.
I am blessed to have known you as a good friend and I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to work in your life.
You may have some things that I disagree, but that is normal because I can never find a perfect person.
I also pray that you continue to set your mind only on God, and not yoke with non-believers and the world.