Sleeping Beauty III - 1 Corinthians 15:51-54

As I was thinking about the soul sleep, I continue to read and search for the meaning of it.
I will not conclude what I discovered, but I'll say that God spoke to me about it.
1 Corinthians 15 speaks about the Resurrection of Christ, Death, and Body.
It's interesting how Paul is really passionate in preaching to the Corinth because REALLY that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
There are so much we don't understand about the Resurrection of Jesus and how it can also relate to our relationship with Him.
Paul speaks about the mystery in verse 51
"We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed..."
The English structure is kind of odd to me.
"We will not all sleep" may not make any sense to us...I cannot really explain it.
Change from what?
Verse 52 says, "in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the
trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will
be changed."
That is when the rapture begin.
While we are dead, it seems like it is just a flash...without telling what the time is...until Jesus Christ comes back.
There are so much mysteries going on about this "soul sleep" but it is very controversial so it can be an open discussion.

Wept

I believe that this year, with the exception of my childhood, is the year I cried the most.
Internally and externally.
My heart cries and I feel sorrowful when I see Jesus hung on the cross.
I cry when I am deeply struggling with the unknown.
Yes, it does cause my heart to tremble a lot.
I am struggling to find out what to do with myself.
Struggling to hear God's calling.
Perhaps at this moment, I should get myself to become a bit more calm.
I want to experience this breeze of serenity.

One - Genesis 2

♫ Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I have nobody, for my own ♫
What do you mean, Tommy?
You have God, so you shouldn't be alone?
God's present is always with you so don't think so negatively about your situation - Emo.
Your whole family is together living with you so no need to feel lonely.
*sigh*
Speaking outwardly, I am lonely regardless.
Right now, I am all alone at home.
Don't feel like doing anything stupid or meaningful but to confess and tell God what is in me right now.
You see, our hearts is deceitful - Jeremiah 17:9
My mind wants to do this and that, but it will eventually lead me to astray - 2 Corinthians 11:3
Those two are common things that tells us and gives us feelings.
Both are evil when it comes to worldly passion.
How could we overcome that kind of stuff?
Just now, I was lying on the bed for a long time...thinking and talking to God.

"Father, my heart is wanting to be with her, and my mind is giving me a vision of how things will look like. But deep inside the core of my body, I should not listen to them. Deep inside of me, I want to be patient and have peace. And I believe this core is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Jesus, you are living in me and you are teaching me and showing me your words through the power of the Holy Spirit. At the same time, I can even sense that loneliness in me. Father, I confess, I am alone."

When I think back Soul Cravings, there was a chapter that talks about #1.
One...one...one...one...one...just only one.
Even my ears start tingling when I hear about it.
It seems lonely.
At least 2+ sounds like there is a group going.
But one...is a lonely number.
I wonder how Adam felt when He was serving God in the Garden of Eden.
Only ONE human being...+ animals and God.
I find it odd...that God can see that Adam is lonely even though Adam was with God.
"It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him."
Nothing is impossible for God.
But really, what caused Adam is have this internal emotion of being "lonely".
How did that happen? Why is that?
Well, God can do anything to create a human in creative ways.
Perhaps I can understand how Adam felt.
Lying down on my bed, thinking about the time we have spent made me really joyful.
Thinking about the time we first met.
Thinking about the time when we go home together for most of the time.
Thinking about the time I walked towards you and pray for you when I saw you cry.
Thinking about how many times I saw you.
Thinking about the pain you have went through.
Thinking about your smile and laughter.
......
Thinking about being with the one, like you, whom I can't live without.
I am that number one...being alone.
I can be like Adam...perhaps feeling lonely when God saw it.
I should seriously read over Song of Songs and learn from the Word of God that was given to Solomon.
I am totally not gifted for being celibacy.

PS: Don't 'awwww' me. I'll probably get ticked off.

The Li family

Today, it was my day of enrollment.
I was so shocked and frustrated with the enrollment system for IAT.
I wanted to get into three courses, but I can't because I need to wait until Aug 3rd for general enrollment.
What is up with that?
It seems that IAT is a program that is reserved for only 75% of the student who are in that program.
I can't wait until I punch my way into that program.
I guess God is teaching me to be patient at this moment and trust that He has everything in control while I am going nuts.
For those of you who didn't know where I was today, I was at home most of the morning and noon trying to figure out my plan B for my Fall Semester.
At around 3pm, I went to Metro to kill some time before I went to Lougheed Station to meet Michelle.
Here they are, from 5pm-10pm, hanging out WITH:
Ian, Serena, Francis, and Michelle - The Li Family.
I am the only Outsider there.
FYI, they are family and relatives.
Serena and Michelle are sisters, and Ian and Francis are brothers, and both the siblings are cousins toward each other.
I had enjoy my time with them.
It has been a year ever since we hung out.
I remember last year was at Metro doing random stuff, but Francis wasn't there.
So much has happened.
Went to a elementary school and play random stuff.
Out of 5 people, Ian was the only one who didn't get any injuries.
I banged my head in the pole at the kids playground while playing some blind tag game.
Francis pulled his leg muscles.
Michelle pulled her arm muscles.
Finally, Serena fell flat on the ground from the second highest floor of the playground while she was tagging people since she has to close her eyes.
My heart was beating fast...so scared...and I rush to help her up, and I was glad that she fell on her back.
When she got up, she was cheerful and joyful in laughter, which made my heart felt better to see that she was alright and that everyone was alright.
The two families had an interesting and funny conversation about their grow up experiences, and I was amused.
It was an awesome moment to be spending time with them, and I am going to miss this moment for maybe another year.
We all can't always come together to hang out because of our busy schedules, but I am glad that God made time for us to meet up.

PS: Michelle is in IAT, and she is reserving a spot for me =P

The Mine Zone - Matthew 14:25-31

As I was approaching to meet Jilly Jill Jill, I stepped on something.
It was a hard unpleasant crack sound.
I looked at it, and it was just a cracker...no wonder why it had the crack sound.
And then, I was thinking deeply about the step that we take each day.
In Africa and middle East, landmines are planted anywhere in soft grounds.
It will take a lot of courageous, boldness, and faith to take that one step.
Most of the times, we are afraid to take that step of faith.
Another analogy would be the stepping stones.
There are tons of stones laid on the ocean...and the other side is the kingdom of God.
You look at the stones and it seems like God's kingdom is just so far away.
You take that first step and you trust that you won't fall.
Most of times, when we are afraid and start doubting, we hesitate and fall.
"You of little faith...why did you doubt?"
In terms of evangelism, will we be afraid to approach someone and doubt that the Holy Spirit will not work in us?
That will cost for another person to not hear the gospel and God will send someone to reach him/her.
What are we waiting for?
Take that step of faith!
This also applies to those who does not know God.
When I was a non-Christian, I did not even know what it means to have faith or trust in God.
I did things my own way and thought out everything was good through my own plans.
But I found out that those plans led me to sorrow.
However, when I accepted Jesus that He will be in control of my life, I found joy in Him.
And this is how I am today...serving Him and taking risk through the trust I have in God.
It's going to be challenging, but we'll never regret about it because we know that the life God gives us are good.
Continue to have faith and trust that Jesus will take us through.

This is a very encouraging video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ

"Nothing could have hurt me more" ~ my friend

I was planning write another post for what has
happened yesterday, however, due to my fever, I was not capable of doing so. Yesterday was “Camp Cornerstone”,
a Children’s ministry that my friend had sent up. When we plan stuff, there will always be some
misunderstanding and lack of communication between labourers or workers. Regardless of what happens, the dominions will
always be ready to tear it down. Satan does have his plan in working, but God
has His way of countering his attack. For example, chess game between both of them. Continuing on, the camp was another successful day. It wasn't the camp or the children that caused us a tough day, but it was the misunderstanding and negative communication between the laborers. First, we lost all the registration form for ALL the kids. Don't know where someone placed it. My friend was asking people who touched it or put it somewhere. Nobody knew. And then, my friend asked one of the aunties in church...in a panicking and stressful mode.

"Auntie, I remember I gave it to you."

"No, I don't remember receiving it from you."

"But I remember I did gave it to you."

"Like I said, I don't have it with me."

And then, my auntie left or walked away. After that, we suddenly found it! Hurray! My friend was relieve! Later on, I walked out and talked to a stranger who knocked the church door. And then when I went back into my friend's office, my friend started crying.

I was wondering what my friend was crying about...until I realized my friend spoke to the Auntie on the phone.

Auntie said, "You didn't trust me...and it hurts my feeling. If you are not willing to trust me, then I have no reason to help you at this camp."

Sadness rose in the office. My friend did a lot of sharing and her struggles as a young person serving in the Children's ministry. My friend has to deal with the child's parents and her family. My friend's mom is a Christian though yet still struggles with arguments between them.

Yes...the message from my auntie to my friend was condemning.

Yes, my friend was panicking about it and that is why she stumbled.

What happened to forgiving each other and resolving the conflict?

But I don't know what is going on between them, but I'm very sure that they have resolve the conflict since my friend was joyful while my friend was talking to me.

I praise God that He has forgiven them both...for whatever that dishonored Him.

As for me right now...I am having a huge headache and body ache...

If I was to used that quote, then my sickness does not have enough power to hurt me.

What really hurts me more...is that Jesus Christ died on the cross...for our sin.

When I look at Jesus...being persecuted and tormented by the Romans...it makes my heart cry.

The same level of this pain is that most of the people in the world does not know how much He loves us...who is willing to die for our sin even though we are very unworthy of forgiveness...because He became obedient to death...even death on the cross. There are just so much that hurts me...not sure about this statement, but it hurts God more that everyone doesn't accept Him.

In reality, He doesn't need us. His work will still be completed regardless even though the world becomes Atheist. By the time we face judgment, that we ought to be afraid.

Malachi 1:11 "My name will be great among the nations, from the rising to the setting
of the sun. In every place incense and pure offerings will be brought
to my name, because my name will be great among the nations," says the
LORD Almighty.

However, He does WANT us to come back to Him...to be His children...why? Because it is the OPPORTUNITY and the CHOICE that He has given us. That is the free-will. He gave us choice to make. He has given us a cross to die on, which means to follow Jesus, know Him as our Lord, Saviour and King, and a relationship with Him, or the opposite of that.

I am already experiencing it and will continue to live like this. It was never meant to be an easy life, but it is a great life to live in.

Restoration through Strength

This morning was another one of those mornings again.
Started out bad but always ended with something good.
Last night was an annoying night.
I guess most of the you, readers, don't know about this, but I share my room with my little brother.
He kindly asked me to not turn off the light or the computer.
I'm like, "okay...that's fine with me."
Usually, I can sleep through almost anything regardless of whether it was noisy, or being surrounded by brightness.
However, last night was a whole different night.
I realized something yesterday...
When you sin intentionally, you are one foolish person while you aren't being mastered by it.
When you sin while being tempted, you are just weak.
God is my strength, but I put Him on the side on purpose.
I'm so foolish.
Anyhow, I opened the door for Satan and he attacked me badly last night.
I had a huge headache while I was trying to get some sleep...and my body felt very restless.
Because of that, it was so hard to overcome the pain while the lights were turned on...50 cents music was being played in the background with a loud bass, and my brain couldn't stop thinking.
I became frustrated and I turned off the music...and asked my brother turned the light off.
Still, I couldn't sleep very well.
The pillow was rough on me...the temperature was high.
And this REALLY was my nerves...
It was almost mid-night...and guess what happened?
My little brother's cellphone rang...for a while.
He didn't picked up the phone and just let it rang.
I was telling myself...*be patient, don't go berserk*.
Later on, my mom came back and started phoning me and my little brother to see if we're at home...
Ridiculous! Why not come to our room and see if we here???
Later on, another cellphone and finally he picked up and started talking.
*This is getting on my nerves*
Later on, I managed to get into a little bit of sleep.
In the middle of the night, I heard noises...a conversation.
I told my little brother to be quiet.
And then later on, he was still in his conversation.
I told to seriously BE QUIET!
And then I slept.
I woke up...headaches...body was restless...didn't get into my deep sleep.
Got up and try to get to church to help out with some stuff.
Honestly, I felt like vomiting...and I felt like I was going to faint anytime.
I was walking 2.5 times slower than I usually walked.
It reminded me about the "storm" that I am going through.
It's like, Jesus is carrying me through this storm...and telling me to hold on, I will take you through.
His love for His people is so infinite...that He is willing to protect me.
When I reached my destination, I started cleaning the windows and helping out in the kitchen.
I rejoice! For I am doing this!
I felt so much better for serving God and to hold tight on Him.
Some readers might be asking, "Why didn't God just heal you?"
There are moments when God will heal you...if it's in His will.
God carried me through because of His strength in me...as it says in Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
I recognize that if I rely on the strength that He gives me, He will take me through.
Through the suffering that I had, I found myself to become stronger.
1 Peter 5:10-11 "And the God of
all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you
have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you
strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

"Good" Morning

As some of
you might now know, I live in a non-Christian family.

This morning was a good
and bad morning.

I’ll start with the bad morning…I’ll start out bad and end
with something good.

My mom woke me up this morning and asked me to look after
her store while she gone to her second job.

You know, it’s morning, and I got
grumpy and frustrated that I needed to help her again because I looked after
her store last evening.

So that dishonors my mom and God.

However, I went into
my mom’s room and lie down on her bed while she was putting some make up on.

This
dialogue was spoken in Chinese, so I’ll try to translate it and remember what
we said.

And she was
telling me, “None of you are willing help me on anything!”

“But I
looked after the store for you yesterday…so does that mean I wasn’t willing to
help you.”

“You know,
I am not making a lot of money…it is like I’m fighting a war to earn
something.”

I said to
her, “There is an even a bigger war that we are fighting right now. For me, I
am fighting a war against Satan and his dominions. A war against the wages of
SIN. We have this sin in us that we commited…”

And then
she said, “Maybe I have this “sin”, in Chinese I think she meant criminal
record, in me so that is why I am very “unlucky”. I lied, I did this and that.”

“Do you
know that Jesus has paid the price for your sin?”

“No body
can forgive sin. And don’t talk about Jesus in front of me.”

“But do you
know what He did for you? The Bible tells us the truth and Jesus said that “I
am the truth and the light." Referencing John 14:6

Later on we
had a pause…I think.

“Do you
know who God is?”

“I knew Him
when I was young.”

“But do you
know Him now?”

“Like I
said, I know Him, but not too familiar with Him.”

“I know.
Tons of people know Him, but they don’t care about Him. In the Bible, it said
that people know Him, but they didn’t give thanks or glory or don’t care about
Him.” Referencing from Romans 1:18-21. “I went though this experience in knowing
Him and I know that you can know Him also.”

She
replied, “I know that you know Him, so why don’t you pray to Him and ask Him to
dispel this suffering in me? Tell him that I want money and hopefully I’ll get
more customers.”

“That is
what you want do, but what does God want you to do?”

“He wants
me to believe in Him and praise Him.

“No, doing
that is not enough to please Him. The Bible also said that “not everybody who
says to me, “Lord, Lord” will enter the kingdom of heaven.” Referencing Matthew
7:21 “God wants you to know Him personally.”

Later on I
forgot what happened…but she said…

“I prayed to
God that I won’t go through so much suffering, but He never answered my
prayer.”

Then she
walked out the door. I was praying for Her that she’ll be patient because God’s
timing is perfect. It might not happen right now, but it will happen in the
future.

And then
she came back in the room, in tears.

I said to
her, “Why don’t you read and study God’s word?”

Then I
pulled out the Chinese Bible on her counter and gave it to her.

I told her,
“Read Matthew.” Intentionally, I wanted her to read John, but I didn’t know
what it was in Chiense.

She said
this, “You know, I think I have time today. Maybe I could read it.”

And then
she walked out the room and I prayed for her.

Few minutes
later while she was preparing to go to work, she asked me this question,
“Tommy, do you think I am miserable?”

“Yes, I
have compassion for you. I used to be very miserable too.”

And then I
shared with her, “I was miserable for not having a girlfriend in High School
while others had one because I was jealous. I was miserable that I had learning
disability.”

“But now
you’re grown up. You’ll find girlfriend soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll
be patient.”
She said, “That’s right. Be patient.”

And then
she left for work and she took the Bible with her. So continue to pray for her
and that she’ll encounter Jesus, our Lord, Saviour, and King.

Wisdom and Patience - Colossians 2:10a (New American Standard Bible)

I am in the middle of a huge decision.
Standing on the fork road...waiting for a report that is going to come from either one of those two roads.
Time is ticking, but it is on my side.
This is probably going to be one of the big struggles for this summer.
Finding a job to support my family, or attend Awana Camp.
Father, what is Your GOOD advice?
I am struggling here and I don't know how to move right now.
What is the wise choice to make?
I don't understand what I am supposed to do right now.
Your words does struck me.
I put my focus on You, but right now, I really want to talk to You.
What can You offer me right now?
You said, "Honor your father and mother."
You said, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and TEACHING THEM to obey everything I have commanded you."
Our Lord, Your words are true as always.
I trust in You that You will take me through this difficult situation.
I will go through a lot of struggles.
However, I want to be PASSIONATE for You only.
What is Your calling for me this summer?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understand."

If I am not ready, then I ought to be patient and wait for God's calling.
Father, when can I hear from You?
"Why do you doubt?"
I'm weak...Oh Father deliver me away from evil.
Deep in me, I do trust that You can move the mountain.
"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

♫Here I am, Oh God

I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.

I offer up my life.

I look to You, Lord

Your love that never ends

Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you, Lord

In Your strength will I break through, Lord

Touch me now, let your love fall down on me

I know your love dispels all my fears.

Through the storm I will hold on Lord

And by faith I will walk on, Lord

Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day

And I will be complete in You♫

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNYc5El60PI&feature=channel_page

I was crying or maybe a little bit of tears.
Father, I submit my struggles and my life to you.
I know that I cannot do anything with my own strength.
Teach me Your way.
May be made complete when I meet You.

Patient

God has been teaching me how to be patient.
Romans 8:25 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
"Father, I come before you. I am anxious in everything, by petition and prayer, with thanksgiving. I give thanks to you. I am thankful that you have put in the place where I am right now. So right now, I am going to speak to you. Teach me what it means to have patience."

Sleeping Beauty II

I was still thinking on the things that Sam said about "soul sleep".
Christina gave me something to think about on Luke 23:42-43.
"TODAY, you will be with me in paradise."
What did Jesus meant by "today"?
Did He meant "today you will receive the salvation?"
I don't know.
Mr. Sam Pang!
If you are reading this, then we should really discuss this seriously.
It is good to look in context, but it is also important to interpret the meaning from other Bible verses.
I was reading on Luke 16:19-31.
The Rich man and Lazarus.
Lazarus means "whom God helps".
Interestingly enough, the rich man was already in hell.
And he was asking Abraham in verse 27-28.
Now, what was Jesus teaching here?
Rich man in hell...and his family in the world?
Another good thing to think about.
Got to meditate on verse 31.

July 3rd 2009 - 10:56pm - 11:55pm

It was a long speech.
It was a long silent.
It was a long silent prayer.
It was a long conversation.
Today and onward, I shall see what God's work is going to look like.
"Father, I pray that Your will be done."

Retrieving my sword!

After nearly a week, I have finally got my Bible back.
So what happened exactly?
Last Friday, I was eating dinner with my friends.
Remember the post, "Sleeping Beauty"?
Yes, that was just a random name that I draw out of the box.
We were having discussions and I pulled out my Bible.
After that, I lay it down on the empty chair where nobody was sitting.
After I left, Sam called me that I left my Bible at the restaurant.
Why could I see it?
First, I put my backpack on the empty chair.
Afterwards, I lay my Bible down under the huge cloth...so I couldn't see it when I left.
I felt kind of empty without it.
It was such a HUGE impact in my life.
I had other Bibles in my room, but I wasn't used to "wielding" it.
"Put on the full armor of God..."
I wonder if soldiers really knew how to wield their own sword.
Sure, the knight must know how to wield all other swords just fine.
But I really wonder what it really means to put on the FULL ARMOR of God.
Brad Thompson spoke about it in one of the weekly meetings at Waterloo C4C.
It was very interesting and I learned a whole new thing through Roman analogies.
But yeah, perhaps I have gotten a lot weaker when I didn't have my Bible.
Now that I've retrieved it, time to continue my fight against Satan's temptation!