Saturday, July 18, 2009

One - Genesis 2

♫ Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I have nobody, for my own ♫
What do you mean, Tommy?
You have God, so you shouldn't be alone?
God's present is always with you so don't think so negatively about your situation - Emo.
Your whole family is together living with you so no need to feel lonely.
*sigh*
Speaking outwardly, I am lonely regardless.
Right now, I am all alone at home.
Don't feel like doing anything stupid or meaningful but to confess and tell God what is in me right now.
You see, our hearts is deceitful - Jeremiah 17:9
My mind wants to do this and that, but it will eventually lead me to astray - 2 Corinthians 11:3
Those two are common things that tells us and gives us feelings.
Both are evil when it comes to worldly passion.
How could we overcome that kind of stuff?
Just now, I was lying on the bed for a long time...thinking and talking to God.

"Father, my heart is wanting to be with her, and my mind is giving me a vision of how things will look like. But deep inside the core of my body, I should not listen to them. Deep inside of me, I want to be patient and have peace. And I believe this core is the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Jesus, you are living in me and you are teaching me and showing me your words through the power of the Holy Spirit. At the same time, I can even sense that loneliness in me. Father, I confess, I am alone."

When I think back Soul Cravings, there was a chapter that talks about #1.
One...one...one...one...one...just only one.
Even my ears start tingling when I hear about it.
It seems lonely.
At least 2+ sounds like there is a group going.
But one...is a lonely number.
I wonder how Adam felt when He was serving God in the Garden of Eden.
Only ONE human being...+ animals and God.
I find it odd...that God can see that Adam is lonely even though Adam was with God.
"It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him."
Nothing is impossible for God.
But really, what caused Adam is have this internal emotion of being "lonely".
How did that happen? Why is that?
Well, God can do anything to create a human in creative ways.
Perhaps I can understand how Adam felt.
Lying down on my bed, thinking about the time we have spent made me really joyful.
Thinking about the time we first met.
Thinking about the time when we go home together for most of the time.
Thinking about the time I walked towards you and pray for you when I saw you cry.
Thinking about how many times I saw you.
Thinking about the pain you have went through.
Thinking about your smile and laughter.
......
Thinking about being with the one, like you, whom I can't live without.
I am that number one...being alone.
I can be like Adam...perhaps feeling lonely when God saw it.
I should seriously read over Song of Songs and learn from the Word of God that was given to Solomon.
I am totally not gifted for being celibacy.

PS: Don't 'awwww' me. I'll probably get ticked off.


1 comment:

  1. Hey Tommy, I must admit the "Aww" would have likely happened, but not out of a "oh that's sooo cute!" kind of way, more out of sympathy. Having been there, I know exactly what you're going through. Man was not created to be alone. Statistically speaking I think somewhere around 90% of people get married and if you know that you do not have the gift of celibacy then you should actively seek to get married. Over all it is actually God's will that most of us do. I know Paul goes on about being single being "better" in some regards in terms of distraction and stuff, but I've found that not being along actually sheds an entirely new light on my relationship with God. Just make sure that you end up with someone who points you to Him rather than distracting you from the One thing that is needed. And until the time that you do find the woman God has chosen for you, I will leave you with a quote from the Song of Songs which, while spoken to women, is also applicable to you "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases" (8:4) Also a few verses that helped me get through my times of loneliness. "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.(Psalm 37: 4, 5)

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