He who does not work does not eat.

I'm quite lazy most of the time.
If I don't clean "my room", dust will come in and take over.
It will get worse and worse.
If I don't eat, I'll starve to death.
So I have no choice but to eat.
If I don't work, I get lazier.
Thus, not being able to afford anything for my survival needs, I guess.
I still have more than 10 questions to do for my Calculus Assignment, which is due in the next 6 hours or so.
I have class in 10 minutes, and then it ends at 11:20pm.
So I have at least 4 hours to finish it.
But wait! I need to go and eat lunch and then walk around for the food to digest to give me energy.
Another hour gone, which leaves me three hours
Interesting expectation I have.
Time to get working.

 

When it all started

Riding up the 4th floor of the Coast Terrace Inn
My lights flash red as I slide smoothly to a halt
"Ding", the door opens
Sweat-suited baggy pants step in
Standing Straight as if stranded on a Desert Island

Carrying a red book and blue pen
She is five feet, Standing just under his chin
Shyly, she stares silently at him
Avoiding the meeting of eyes
She is waiting for him to make a signal of her existence
Slowly he stretches his forefinger and presses the red basement button

Stillness thickens inside the rectangular brown frame box
He urges himself to say something 
His neck turns involuntarily
Eyes stare at her confidently
...glossy black hair held loosely in a rubber band
(A hand is pumping her heart softly and sensitively as she stares at the dark floor) *it's all in one line*

Her spectacles reflect light brightly through shiny frames
Two pairs of innocent eyes meet and discover each other
His hope mirror hers and
She longs to stare at this handsome reflection

My lights light up crimson as I glide rapidly to a halt
Disappointment hangs as if flowers will never bloom
"Ding", the door opens
She gasps and he sighs
Enchantment opens each youth mouth while hope runs out and disappears
Slowly she takes her first step away from him
As the gate closes, he carefully reaches, touching her palm and
introducing himself.

 

This was one of the poems I handed in for English 12, during Adult School.

I actually got perfect! 6/6 on this poem.

Anyhow, generally, I didn't know what happened in the Elevator. 

I just made up stuff when we first met just to make it sound "sweet" or "cute".

Specifically, I went down to the basement from the 4th floor to go to a seminar.

And then, she walks in during the main floor.

It continues on with the poem.

We were actually going to the same seminar and we both sat together because we didn't know a lot of people...too.

After the seminar, she and I went to out separate ways.

When I first had in touch with her, I somehow sense a deep feeling...maybe it was my attraction towards her???

When we did, I was wondering very deeply if I'll ever see or talk to her again.

Miraculously, we did.

Our next encouter was when I saw her crying during one of the worship session because the worship leader was leading us into something very deep.

I can't believe, in all my life, that I had the spirit to walk up and pray for her even when she was in tears.

We went to our separate again, I thought we wouldn't have a chance to meet again, for sure.

Coincidentally...or it was all God's plan, I met a person name Ian Li from UBC during one of the dinners.

When me and the UBC people were going to West Ed Mall, he and I sat together on the bus.

He told me where's his cousin, and I asked him who's his cousin?

Her name is $$$$$$ and she's in SFU.

I was wondering, "Wait a minute, could it be her?"

When he pointed who she is...I was like, "OMGoodness".

Then during New Year's Eve Party, I sat with the cousins and had a chat.

After the conference, I think I won't be able to see her again.

I remember she goes to SFU and one day I went up there for a visit.

And I actually saw her during Ignite but she left early, what's worse was she didn't see me.

Next, I saw her in UBC C4C and sat beside her during the meeting.

This story will go on and on.

I confessed to Ian about it last few weeks ago and he wasn't surprise that I have an attraction towards his cousin.

He encouraged me to keep praying about it and see what God can do with this situation.

However, I haven't been active with that for few days and I don't know what to do with myself.

I waste a lot of money, I skip class and don't do well in school, and my spiritual life.

I've been praying and asking God to change the person who He wants me to be, and a Godly man for someone...maybe her?

All I could say now is that I'm not ready for it or maybe I'm avoiding it.

Why am I avoiding?

I'm afraid because I was hurt deeply last time, not because of that person, but because I was really weak about relationship.

I get very emotional when I get rejected by someone I'm attracted deep in my heart, plus I am an emotional person.

*sigh* I don't know what to do besides relying everything I have on God.

Derek Hill is praying for me about it, and I guess there are people who are praying about it, right?