gogreen18 (1 Corinthians 1:18-21)

Today was a really nice day.

I went to Richmond to walk around and kill some time.

FYI, killing time means wasting my precious time that God has given me.

Repentence is the thing I need to work on when it comes to time.

God, please forgive me for my sin and my lack of wisdom.

Continuing on, I was watching some Jaeson Ma videos on youtube.

While hearing his testimony again and watching other clips, I encounter another video.

Talks about a "crazy" preacher vs. the students, professors, and Atheists.

Interesting clips, but I lost the link to it so I could've show some on this blog.

AND THEN, I encounter another "neat" videos.

The video is called "Evil: God loves it, you should too" by gogreen18

I watched the other of her videos.

My heart...my heart is crying.

My heart is crying for God to have mercy on her.

I went to her space, and I see many comments saying that they love her videos and agreeing to HER opinions or points.

Now, I won't message her just yet...maybe some day.

In this video, she rebutting the first six theodicies.

If you watch her video, then you should know that God is all knowing, all loving, and all powerful.

When I finish watching her video, GUESS WHAT?

I'm going to be rebutting HER POINTS on this blog.

I'm very glad that I could download her points in a document.

So here is what she said:

I.                   Big-plan theodicy

a.       What it is:

                                                              i.      All suffering of innocent beings is part of a big plan and had to happen.  The whole plan, however, is completely good.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      If God is all powerful, he can devise a “big plan” which does not encompass evil.

II.                Punishment theodicy

a.       What it is:

                                                              i.      When we see people suffer terribly, the reason for this is that they have sinned.  Their suffering is a punishment for their sins.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      This is explains why God would punish evil-doers.  However, much of the suffering is undeserved.  Take children, and those born into poverty, slavery, or otherwise: they still suffer tremendously.  Also, this can be defeated with the argument of omnibenevolence: an all-loving god would not create suffering in the first place.

III.             Suffering-builds-character theodicy

a.       What it is:

                                                              i.      The basic idea is that suffering of innocents will help them to become stronger.  All evil offers us the possibility to learn from it and grow into a better human being.  This theodicy is sometimes called the “soul-making theodicy”.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      If God is all powerful he could have eliminated the need for evil by making us characterized to begin with.

IV.             Contrast theodicy

a.         What it is:

                                                              i.      We need evil in the universe to know that there is good.  If there were no evil and everything were good, we could not tell that it is good.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      If God were omnibenevolent he would not have neglected to make the good that we are lacking in place of evil.

V.                Devil theodicy

a.       What it is:

                                                              i.      Innocent suffer because the devil likes to let innocents suffer.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      If God were omnipotent he could override the power of Satan.  This also suggests that Satan exists outside of God, a whole new problem unto itself.

VI.             Test theodicy

a.       What it is:

                                                              i.      Earthly life is just a test.  God has thrown us into this world full of evil and pointless suffering in order to find out what kind of beings we are.  Without the pointless suffering, his test is not complete.  If we pass, we go to heaven.  If we fail, we go to hell.

b.      Defeated:

                                                              i.      God cannot be omniscient under this premise, because then he would already know whether or not I’m going to fail and the test would be pointless in the first place.

 

 

Free will cap:  If God is all knowing, you can’t have free will.  Ka-ching!

 

I won't make points but I'm just going to refute whatever she said.

 

"If God is all powerful, he can devise a “big plan” which does not encompass evil."

First of all, God is powerful. How can you judge His power? His big plan was perfect, without evil. God has made everything good in the first place, but man CHOSE to disobey God. Sure, lets say God destroys Satan and all the evil doing, but that means He's going to destroy us because of our sins. If you don't know who God is, then I'll tell you who He is. He is UNCHANGING. He doesn't need you even though every one of us in the world are Atheists or evil.

 

"This is explains why God would punish evil-doers.  However, much of the suffering is undeserved.  Take children, and those born into poverty, slavery, or otherwise: they still suffer tremendously.  Also, this can be defeated with the argument of omnibenevolence: an all-loving god would not create suffering in the first place."

Another point that is unrevelant and does not support much of her claims. God didn't create suffering in the first place. He made everything good. His creation was perfect in the first place. First place...the beginning.

"The basic idea is that suffering of innocents will help them to become stronger.  All evil offers us the possibility to learn from it and grow into a better human being.  This theodicy is sometimes called the “soul-making theodicy. If God is all powerful he could have eliminated the need for evil by making us characterized to begin with."

Actually, I disagreed with this theodicy, Suffering doesn't make innocents stronger, but makes Christians stronger...actually disciplines Christians. Like the Israelites that escaped from Egypt from all the suffering and hardworking. While going into battle, they defeated the people who opposed them. She said it again, to begin with. God made Adam the person He wanted him to be. A faithful servant of God. God lets innocent suffer because He wants them to realize that they are miserable and useless without Him. Let darkness surround that person and suffer more until that person truly realize he/she needs someone to help him/her.

"If God were omnibenevolent he would not have neglected to make the good that we are lacking in place of evil."

In the video, she said "first place" again. I was watching this point very carefully. God is omnibenevolent because He doesn't want to control us like a robot, He gives us "free-will" to do whatever we want. He gave Adam the command to not eat "the tree of the knowledge of good and evil". He gave Adam a choice to disobey God or to obey Him. Adam and Eve didn't know their conscience. They didn't know what was right or what was wrong. God simply told them to not eat that fruit. God said YOU ARE "FREE" to eat from any tree in the garden, but you MUST NOT eat from the...Adam and Eve only knew what "life" is. Life by the Spirit. *CAUTION* I guess that they only knew what the fruit of the Spirit is. Name them? Well, it is just LOVE. Don't test my God gal.

"If God were omnipotent he could override the power of Satan.  This also suggests that Satan exists outside of God, a whole new problem unto itself."

God does love the innocents. It is just that human mankind, including the innocents, pushed God away and doesn't want Him to be in their lives. You can say God never left them in spirit, but "physically" pushed Him away out of their doors and shut them tight so that God can't come in. As God is outside of their spirit, Satan overrides them. God could override Satan, but Satan is already living inside of those innocents. As a loving God, He lets them choose how they want to live their lives...to either accept Him or not.

"God cannot be omniscient under this premise, because then he would already know whether or not I’m going to fail and the test would be pointless in the first place."

God does know how you live your life. God does know how you are going to live your life as a non-believer, or a believer. What part of your life are you living for? Adam and Eve were already put to the test to either choose the tree of life or the tree of knowledge. God is UNPREDICTABLE. We don't know how He works in our life. We don't know how He operates our livings. He knows every choice we make. He knows every step you take. He knows what happens if you either do this or do that. There is no time limit on His hand. He's waiting for you to receive Him so that you could start your new life with Him for He has a wonderful plan for you.

Honestly, all this theodocies or evil could not even define why God let this happen.

 God saw suffering in this world.

He sent Jesus to heal everyone of us.

He sent His son to die for us.
Jesus, our Lord, suffered greatly...massively...and we couldn't even understand how much suffering He went through.

Children suffers...innocents suffers...Christians suffers.

Evil.

If you look back when Satan tempts Eve, Satan can simply twist the word of the God.

He can tell half-truth and half-lies.

When you look back to when Satan tempts Jesus, he uses that same scheme.

But Jesus knew what was honoring to His Father.

Satan did use the word of God and twist things around with it, but Jesus did not give in that temptation.

We oughta be very careful of how Satan can use this kind of scheme

When we watch this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCO76b9jgt0&feature=channel_page, lets think back to God's soverignty.

Lets also think upon this girl.

Whenever she talks, I think back to the verse on the title.

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.' Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philospher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe."

We, the Christians, are foolish in the perspectives of the Atheists and non-believers.

Guess what?

God loves the foolishness of us.

Guess how much people are watching her videos and appreciating her points?

More than a thousand?

We have our parts to do, as "foolish" Christians.

Let us keep reaching out to those who are lost or very wordly "wise".
Most importantly, please pray for those that are affected by her videos, pray for Laci.

I don't know what her reason is in attacking or targetting Christians.

She said she's tired of facing Christians or dealing with them.

I don't know what she is trying to accomplish.

Deep down inside, the things she said are very foolish.

Maybe...just maybe she believes a little bit of the existence of God.
If she doesn't believe, then why is she talking about it in almost every one of her videos?

She is very bold to be making videos like that and showing her perspective as an Atheist.

Although she only reads or listens to the Scholar's opinion, I believe she needs to investigate this issue of whether God exist or not by herself.

It is only between her and God.

She needs to seek the wisdom of this world.

She needs to get intimate with God in order for her to understand, with the power of the Holy Spirit, who He is in her perspective.

Wow...quite a long blog.

Serene and Love

I really do need serene.

I'm so tired and I am can't relax properly.

Right now, I can't even sleep.

Oh well, blame me for napping for two hours at 4:30.

I'm pretty sick today.

Actually, I'm sick of staying at home all day when it is a really nice day.

When I stay at home, I tend to waste so much time.

Time is so precious, but consume them on videogames and endless second on facebook or youtube.

*sigh* time to be calm now.

Stand firm.

Be still.

And know that God is right there.

 

I had a dream or maybe I was fantasizing about it.

There were some jokes about Angie and her boatride.

Then it reflecting back on my dream.

Going out to Playland and seeing that her parents were there.

Her sister wasn't there...which I don't really know why.

I don't even have a good explaination on why I'm there.

She was standing right beside me.

Then talked to her, "I can see that your parents are very beloved with each other."

"Yeah, maybe we should leave them alone."

"Do you want to be beloved just like them?"

*Silence*

Since it is just a DREAM or my imaginations, I could just hold her hands and starting having some beloved time with each other!

Even guys like me could be like a silly little "girl".

She and I were walking around...you could say we're "dating".

I saw Olina, my camper from Awana Camp, working there and she saw me.

Nothing much happened after words and I decided to stop thinking about it.

"If you could tell a person that she is gorgeous, would you do that right now in this room?"
"I would definitely tell her, but she's not here."

Lovers...interesting and funny word.

Love is a very strong word.

Love is a powerful word.

I could give as much love as I desire to, but I could not give as much money as I desire to.

God's love is infinite.

It's a strong word.

When I miss her, it seems like I miss God just as much more.

When I don't see her for a long period of time, it makes me want to see God more.

I have never seen the eyes of God, but I have seen her eyes.

There is nothing wrong with loving someone.

God made a person to love.

Think back to Genesis when Adam felt lonely.

He knew that God loved him.

God placed him in Garden of Eden, a creation and design by God, which was good.

God didn't put Him into some place that is wrecked or poorly designed place.

He made everything good for a man to live.

When you learn to love God, you will learn how to love someone.

It's hard.

If I was to walk up to her, I would not say, "I love you".

I can't say that...just yet.

I don't know what it means to love her.

I do want to know her deeply.

I do desire to be with her.

I do whatever she is in need.

I do want to help her.

I do desire to LEARN how to love her.

If I do say I love her, yet break up with her in the future, I'm a hypocrite.

I said I love her, but afterwards I don't love her anymore...which can cause this friendship of ours to break.

I do love her as my friend and my sister in Christ.

Here's the thing for probably all of us.

If we learn how to love God, then we would know how to love someone.

God's love is very powerful.

Greatest commandment is to love our God.

Second greatest commandment is to love our neighbours.

 1 John 3:16

When do you want to say, "I love you"?

Say it as if you really mean it.

Say it as if you really want to MARRY that someone.

 

Read Song of Songs =D

Romantic love and shows as an example of how God loves us.

Finger Nails (James 1:21)

Do you know what irritates me?

I dislike it when my finger nail keeps growing longer and longer.

But it's God's design...so please forgive me.

Yesterday, Jay Hom or Homenukie or Jomenuke, or whatever you want to call him, was digusted by my long finger nails.

Eliza was also digusted by it.

"You're a man dude, and you should cut your finger nail and groom yourself."

Ok fine.

So this morning, I finally cut my finger nails.

So I was thinking, hmm...this could another one of those interesting analogies that I like to share.

It is like our sin.

If we let our sin to grow continually, then our heart will be snared by it.

Lets use pornography as an example.

We watch a little bit, and 5% of our heart has been snared.

Watch a little bit more, 10% of our heart has been snared.

Watch a little bit more, 20% of our heart has been snared.

By the time we even notice about it, we lust(for guys I think), have impure thoughts and masturbation.

As a result, a 100% of our heart has been snared by our sin, our act.

I look at my finger nails, it grows so long, and I get digusted and annoyed by it that I tend to get into a habit of biting it.

I look at my sinful nature, I get disgusted by it.

I like to add my main verse on the title 'cause that'll be SWEET!

"Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."

When I just read this again, I was like...get rid of the "accepted word"?

No, the verse is telling us to put away our sinful nature, and in humility you accept the word of God, which can deliver you from sin.

So in this "awkward" analogy, I cut my nails...getting rid of my disgusting looking finger nails and make them shorter again, but it'll continue to grow.

So, get rid of our digusting finger nails...if you believe it is digusting...if that is in a female perspective 'cause they tend to have longer nails...NOT TRYING TO BE SEXIST.

Put our sins to aside(forever hopefully) and focus on the word of God.

Our sins will grow again and tempts us.

This is part of our spiritual growth...facing our "desperations" to cut off our nails. 

Giving your all, and I love you

You guys might be wondering about the title, "Woah! What is this guy going to blog about today???"

Today, I watched one of the old Chinese shows.

It was detective investigators or whatever the title is.

A daughter got kidnapped and the kidnapper was asked to give thirty million dollars in order to save the child.

The dad collected that amount of money and went to do the exchange.

However, the kidnapper didn't kept his vow.

Instead, he killed the father and still kept the child.

In my life, instead of being killed, I was saved.

There were few people who made an attempt to mug me.

The first time was a failure, but the second time was a big shock for me.

First time happened at Metrotown when I was playing my DS while walking.

Two little punks walked up to me and showed me one his knives and told me in a distastful language to give him my DS.

Ok, two little punks, at a huge mall with people around, what are they going to do?

Stab me on the back?

I quickly walked away and let them do whatever they want to my back.

Finally, I left them and I was shivering with fear.

It was pretty frightening when someone approaches you and demands money or something.

Second time happened during my mom's birthday...oh I'll never forget this XD

Going to Aberdeen at Richmond to buy my mom's birthday gift.

Two guys were standing on the side walk at the intersection.

One guy approached to me and "nicely" asked me a question.

Instead, he grabbed onto me and started swearing and demanding money.

Ever had that kind of experience?

I didn't got hurt or anything besides calling the police afterwards.

Guess what I did to escape this situation?

I give them what they demanded.

I was completely frighten.

I didn't leave the house for almost a week or so.

I told people in my prayer fellowship about this.

They prayed over me.

Skipping the details...ask me for more info if you're curious.

Reading the Bible and searching up some passages.

I ran into few verses from this experience.

Matthew 5:40 "And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well."

This command is hard to fulfill.

The Pharisees believed that they were "perfect" by obeying the laws in the Old Testament.

Here, Jesus shows more laws for Pharisees that are almost impossible to fulfill.

Anyhow, I actually fulfilled one of them.

It was tough going through this pain of agony.

But I believed that God did save me through that situation.

Jesus was always with me when I was mugged.

My older brother doesn't understand this, but I believe that you know what I am talking about.

If it weren't for Jesus's teaching, then I don't know what will happen during that situation.

I thought about fighting back, but I was too frighten and weak to do so.

I don't like to cause violence because that's not my personality.

I don't like to physically hurt people.

Genesis 50:20 "You(the people) intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

Give your all to God and He will bring you out of trials.

This is part of the spiritual growth that we face each day.

Trials and more trials in the future.

God is challenging us as His children.

Read 1 Peter about suffering and Hebrews 12:1-13

 

Finally, you guys have been wondering about title.

"and I love you."

Guess what?

I do love you guys =)

Isn't hard to love your brothers and sisters?

It's not hard at all.

Express it out!

I love you.

Do it with actions and in truth!

HOWEVER, it is hard to love your brothers and sisters IF you don't know them well enough.

It is easy to say it, but it's hard to act it out.

I was talking to "One Cent".

Did a little bit of sharing and I gave her my testimony.

Not only did I gave her it, but she asked for it.

The point about this section is not mainly focus on 1 John 3:11-24, but more on how to know your brothers and sisters.

The verse I want to focus is one verse on that passage, and that is 1 John 3:18

This is a very hard topic to talk about...especially for me, but it is good to think about it deeply.

There are some people in C4C or my church who I don't know.

Does that mean I love them?
I could say I love them, but I don't know how to act it out.

I don't say I hate them because I'll be a murderer.

Ok, I don't know Bob in C4C...ok there's a Bob in UBC C4C...another name...umm....

Baby!

I don't know Baby in C4C, I can't say I love or hate that person, but I could take the initiative with love and gentleness and get to know that person.

I want to learn how to love Baby.

And then, I get to know Baby's general information.

Ok, can I say I love Baby.

Surely, I love Baby since I get to know him/her.

What I find it weird sometimes when I try to know someone better, I tend to get ignored, or maybe I am shy.

Well, for guys, it is harder to get to know our sisters in Christ better because there might be an awkward signal.

 So I tried and tried, I fail most of the time, but I still love my sisters in Christ yet don't know how to act it out.

It is easier for me to act is out around guys.

So what is an easier way to act it out on girls?

Through my experience with my wonderful sister in Christ at church, we get to know each other very deeply.

We trade secrets such as who we have a CRUSH ON.

OH now that is easy!

But I don't suggest that 'cause rumors might spread and....yeah.

It is hard to love someone you don't know very well.

I thought of another verse: 2 Peter 1:3

I don't know how to word things up, but we know that we all love each other very dearly.

We know and we can see.

God has given us Jesus to understand love.

He laid down His life for us because He love us.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers [and sisters]"

Timmy is signing out and God Bless.

 

PS: omgoodness it's 2:10am and I need to wake up so early for worship practice!

The Five People you meet in Heaven

Today, I was at the youth fellowship or youth event.

Pastor Jason was leading an interesting message for the youth.

This message consist of some participations.

Pastor Jay read a novel called "The Five People you meet in Heaven", and the youth are to state what is biblical or unbiblical.

Later on, we watched a scene in a movie from that novel.

Then, the youth would debate whether heaven is physical or spiritual.

It is a debate between boys vs. girls.

Some youth pulled off some really good points, and some were just not making sense or off topic.

What is interesting about this fellowship, or every other youth Sunday School and Awana, Pastor Jason would always BLOW MY MIND.

He enlightens my thought on the word of God.

Almost all of the things he teaches, I learn something very new...very bright...very unknown to me.

I can tell that God is speaking through him...to show me something.

Some of the topics were the Geneology of Jesus, different writer of the Gospel, Galatians: Law vs. Grace, Mephibosheth, and many more to come.

Honestly, these are stuff I have never learned or understand.

Even today, I could learn a lot through youth.

That's why going to fellowship is very important, to seek something that might strike you......

Just like in Revelation 19:15.

Through Bible Study in C4C, I can learn something, but not striking.

There are some of the stuff I have learned from John Homenuke.

Most of the time, I am being reminded through the lessons.

Sometimes or more, I am being reminded in Ignite Weekly Meeting.

Most the time I am being enlighten are through Pastors.

Funny thing about being striken with the word of God is when I stare at Pastor Jason for few second...

In my heart or through my mouth, I would say, "You blew my mind or brainwashed me."

Anyhow, back to the title.

It is an interesting novel or movie.

You guys can read the wikipedia or other resources about it, but I'll give a little bit of detail of what this title is about.

Eddie, the protagonist, died in a freak accident when he tried to save a little girl from a huge "thing" falling on top of them.

After that, he died and that was a start of his life.
In the story, he was in heaven.

From there, he met five people in heaven who directed him to this life that he was living in.

Here's a question for all of us: Have you ever stared at the ceiling and wonder why we are living this kind life and why we live?

Here's the answer to Eddie's problem...I think.

Those five people, were the people who risk or "sacrificed" their lives to save Eddie.

Eddie didn't know a lot of things around his life and what happened.

But here's the interesting part of what my Pastor stated...or I can try recall what he stated...something along this line:

"When you make an interconnection with individuals, you will affect their lives through what you say, do,...whatever. Through these actions, you will make changes in their lives until they die."

This philosophy is true.

My youth leader, Vania, taught the youth(when I was in youth) about the things you say.

It is like a hammer hammering a nail on a wood, and you make a hole on it.

The hammering is what you say to the wood, and the wood would have a hole that would stay there forever.

So whatever you say to an individual, it can hurt them or encourage them or inspire them forever.

Whatever we say, we're already nailing a hole on a person's heart.

This novel is very interesting in some ways, but there things I can disagree, however we haven't fully know the story yet or finish the movie.

Life is complicated to handle.

There is no good reason to explain why we are living this kind of life until we get to heaven.

There will be justice of how you live your life.

In heaven, we will find our answers to our lives.

Just like Eddie, people saved his life through their sacrifice, and he didn't know about until he died.

He could have died a long time ago....btw he's a very old man when he died.

Pastor Jason ended this fellowship with this passage: Revelation 19:11-21.

Faithful and True.

With JUSTICE he judges and makes war.

Most of the time, I have trouble in getting right with God.

The things that happened to me in the past lead me to God.

I don't know the reason...I have no clue why I am here.

But if it weren't for Jesus, I wouldn't be here sitting and typing this right now.

So yeah, take a look at this novel because it is very interesting =)

 

Interesting Quotes I've heard or seen, and made up.

"Life is complicated to handle."

"As each day passes by, I am not the same person I was anymore."

"God does not do things illogical."

"Funny, but religion is difficult to 'view'"

"True, but not true."

Sophia

I was complaining about my Final Exam marks.

"No,No,No,No....NO! I don't deserve this!"

I was quite upset about my MACM mark.

Five days of studying/cramming still cannot get me a decent mark?

Realize that more and more than half the class failed the Final Exam.

So, I shouldn't feel so bad about myself.

I was feeling foolish of how arrogant I was in the exam.

Finished the exam in an hour and then left in the next 30 minutes.

"Yeah, the exam was alright. I shouldn't fail."

BOOM, justice has come!

After that, I was thinking deeply inside me.

It's a cry of my heart.
I got back home and checked my email.

Yes, I was kind of having tears in my eyes and in my heart.

She emailed me.

"Before I leave for hk, I just wanted to say best wishes to you at Waterloo."

" =) I'll definitely keep you in my prayers."

"I know you'll have an amazing time." 
hmm...what would happen if I do get RTW.

How would she respond to that?
How would any other friends that I made the past 8 months would respond to that?

Yes, there will probably be some disappointments.

I told her that I failed my exam and I was cursing myself.

"I know you won't get kicked out."

Maybe, maybe I won't.

I was pretty joyful when I can hear her again.

I thought she left already, but she told me that she had an exam today."
"The prof said the exam was easy, but it was a lot harder than I expected."

Then, good-bye and have a safe trip.

Back on to this computer and I told my youth leader about my situation and what I'm going to do.

His response is very encouraging.

 

"If you like math, what do you think about accounting? It's good to get practical skills. A math degree would be very helpful as a foundation for any other practical skills you pick up later. Now is a good time to be in school because the economy is very bad. More people than usual are applying to get into school because now is the time to study while waiting for the economy to pick up again."

"I did English! Now what in the world was I supposed to do with English!? Teaching is the only thing you can do with English! I didn't know at the time, but God had my future set. He blinded my eyes to the future so that I wouldn't be distracted with all the law stuff (I don't think I would've been able to concentrate on my English courses if I were thinking too much about getting accepted into law school). At the right time, God revealed his plan for me. So when God doesn't let you see into your future, count it as a blessing. He is graciously telling you that all you need to think about right now is what you can see in front of you. He is taking care of the rest. "Be not anxious about tomorrow, for sufficient are the troubles today"

"If you're feeling uneasy about your future right now, the best thing to do is to stay close to God. He sees your future. If you stay with him, he will take you through even if you don't see your future. Resist thoughts of despair and doubt. Heaven is yours already. Everything else in this life is a bonus. :)"

 

Yes, I have been thinking a lot about grad school such as getting my Master and Ph.D.

At the same time, I was thinking a lot about my future.

However, I don't even know what it means to work hard.

I just don't know what it really means to totally work hard to achieve what God has given me.

God! I ask for Your wisdom!

 

"To be wise, you must have reverence for the Lord." Job 28:28

"If any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom." James 1:5

"The Lord will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; He will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do. And with your wisdom, develop common sense and good judgement." Proverbs 4:7

" 'I will guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble,' declares the Lord." Proverbs 4:11-12

"The Lord grants wisdom! His every word is a treasure of knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6

"Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, because they are mind forever. I am wiser than all my teachers, because I think about your rules." Psalm 119:98-99

"What seems to be God's foolishness is wiser thanhuman wisdom, and what seems to be God's weakness is stronger than human strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25

 

God's little lesson really can open people's eyes.

My eyes need to see things clearly even though it's open.

God's wisdom is a gift.

Very often, we ask God for wisdom, His Holy Spirit.

He gives it to us, but we unintentionally throw it out when we don't have any needs.

I always ask God for wisdom, but I don't know how to use it properly.

When I throw it away, I turn to my own ways.

My own ways leads me to failure.

I fail.

I fail a lot of times.

I was always a failure when I do things my way.

I totally have thrown it out.

I skip classes thinking that it is unnecessary to go.

Even though I fail a lot or have fallen trillion of times, He still loves me, and picks me back up.

I take His gift for granted.

Kevin Thomas was talking about wisdom the other day and it took him 5 years to understand God's wisdom, and the wisdom God has given to him.

He is still struggling with the gift(I think), but he experience the power of wisdom.

If it takes him a long time to experience this gift, then I guess I should start right now.

I want to experience this gift.

God, I need Your wisdom.

Lord grant me this wisdom.

I want to be wise right now.

I know I'll fall, but I am willing to experience this gift and not throw it away.

I want to stay close to you God, isn't that very wise?

Lost

My MACM Final exam has been mark and I got my grade back.

Unfortunately, I don't want to talk about my marks right now.

I'm pretty lost with what I am doing right now.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

I don't know what program I'm really gifted.

Math is alright, but I don't even know what I'm going to do with it.

Honestly, I'm very lost right now.

I should be thinking what I should do for my career.

Well, God has things planned out for me and I'll be asking Him where to go next.

Perhaps next semester, I'll take something different.

Please pray for me.

Hungry

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all my needs
Jesus You're all
This heart is living for

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

This song talks about us being "Hungry".
Honestly, I am very hungry right now,  but physically.
What does it mean to be spiritually hungry?
John 6:25-59 talks about Jesus being the BREAD OF LIFE.
In terms of hungry, we can be thirsty.
"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst."
I have nothing much to talk about in this blog.
It is a reminder of how we are interacting with God...our fellowship on the dinner table.
Are hungry for more?

PS: I just finished my last exam...YAPEE!!!!

Baptism

My Youth Leader asked me this on facebook.
"How are you guys? How's week 1 after baptism? Do you feel different? The same??? worse??? (hehe, Jesus spent time in the desert with no food after his baptism, that's not my definition of "fun"!) be honest now!!"
Baptism is our obedience to Jesus.
Being baptized is a good thing.
It is a start of a new life...a new born baby.
We don't get power or anything.
It's not like we are made clean and perfect after we get baptized, but only when Jesus take us back to His kingdom.
After Jesus was baptized, he went to the desert and was tempted by Satan.
He didn't fall into his temptation for He was faithful, listening, and praying to God.
Most of the time, after we get baptized, we might think we're wise enough to face the world.
After my baptism, I was arrogant, speaking in tongues which hurt my friend's feelings.
I don't think before I speak.
It's not until I encounter this verse.
Ecclesiastes 5:2-3 "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in Heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words."
I started slowing myself down while I talk so I don't say stupid stuff which creates conflict.
I still do, but very rarely.
I was like a baby who doesn't know what he's yapping about.
We are a new born baby for a reason.
God knows our weaknesses when we're babies.

We struggle to take our first step.

We fall most of the time.

Until then, we will stand and walk firmly, but still stumble 'cause we are yet perfect.

That is why we have Grace from God through Jesus.

God is so gracious and merciful that He knows our weaknesses and forgives us when we fall.

For those who are baptized, let us keep encouraging others in their walk with Christ.

For those are not baptized or going to, are you ready to take your step of faith in obedience to Jesus, and are you ready to be live a new life?

In reference, please read Romans 6 about baptism, and read the Gospel after Jesus got baptized.

1 Corinthians 3:2 "I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready."

The Unknown

SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD!

I noticed that people are starting to crawl into my blog!

From now on, I probably need to use proper English.

 I finished reading Matthew...again I think.

The fascinating thing about this book is that there are a lot of teachings from Jesus.

Going to a short off-topic moment...

My youth leader told me a phrase that he heard from someone, "Being a Christian is cool!"

He said to me, "It is not cool to see Jesus cruxified on the cross."

It is not cool to see someone die.

Back on topic and "Into the Unknown".

It was a theme from Winter Conference 2007...my first conference.

The interesting thing about this theme is that we don't know where we are going in the future.

We don't know what the future lies ahead.

We don't know what will happen if we take this large step of faith.

Generally, God is pretty much unpredictable, but He has everything planned for us in the future.

However, this topic is not related to our future, but when our Lord Jesus will come.

It is a larger QUESTION MARK than just our future.

When will Jesus come?

I was finishing off Matthew from Matthew 24.

Matthew 24 - 25 really gets me thinking about the unknown.

We see here in verse 1-35.

It talks about how the environment will slowly change.

Our environment is slowly getting worse and worse.

Global Warming get things worse.

Wars and Conflicts between continents, countries or cities...

The War right now in Afghanistan.

Economic Crises goes down and down...and maybe a tiny bit of up.

Not only does this passage talks about how our world will get worse, but I believe Zephaniah talks about the upcoming destructions.

Matthew 24:36-51 talks about the coming of Jesus.

I like how the first verse of this passage had stated...

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son (NOT EVEN JESUS), but only the Father."

It gets us curious and...mmmm cheese strings......

We don't know, nobody knows besides God, our Father in heaven.

However, Jesus did warn us to be prepared for His second coming.

Be faithful and wise, shall we move on?

Matthew 25:1-13

Half of the virgin women were prepared and half weren't.

If we are not prepared, then we are like those who are not prepared and cannot be invited in anymore.

We are waiting for The Unknown, but at the same time there are lots to do on earth.

"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few."

 

More info, I need to raise $100 only for the flight cost.

Almost there...almost there.

I guess the unknown for some other people is discovering who that person is that I've talking about.

For those of you that knows, DON"T YOU DARE!

Ran out of bullets

The joy of procrastination has already ended today and now.

I've used up all my breaks.

It is time for me to seriously study.

I have MACM exam on Saturday and I'm not really looking forward to it.

Pray for motivation and strength for this week.

 

1 John

We are either on the LIGHT side OR the DARK side.

How could light mix with dark?

Mixing white and black could create a grey color.

I wonder if the element of light and dark could mix...

In the Bible, it is impossible.

Paul mentions it in 1 John.

It is a very short book so you guys could finish it in less than 30 minutes.

BUT how long does it take us to understand this book?

The Bible is very deep, even a short book such as Philemon, Jude, Jonah, Haggai, Obadiah...and more.

It takes a while to understand each short book.

But how long does it take to understand a long book?

I even wonder how long does it take to understand the book the Moses wrote?

Anyhow, back on topic.

Light and Dark...

Before I go on, I really want to confess this to the readers.

I love to share a lot of things and inspire other people to Christ.

I can see how God used Derek Hill to encourage me to step out in faith and share in person.

I rarely have a chance to enlighten other people with the Word of God.

I rarely go out sharing or do evangelism.

It takes a lot courage and spirit to do so.

This is why I have blogs; to express my thoughts to other people.

To express my devotions and how God is revealing what He's been showing me through His word.

I don't care whether others are older or wiser than me, I just want to share.

1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, inlove, in faith and in purity."

Furthermore, how do we know that we LOVE.

Do we love God?

My youth Pastor repeatedly asked me this question, "Do you love God? Are you sure? Really?"

Yes, I do LOVE God.

My sinful nature does not want me to love God, but I know that I love God.

Loving God is not an easy thing.

Sometimes there are many things that prevent us from loving Him.

Similarily, do we love our brothers?

Brothers means our congregation or our church?

Just clarify church is NOT a building.

We are the church who gathers together to worship our Lord and be enlighten by the word of God so we could be prepare for the new week.

So how do we know if we love our brothers and sisters?

When I am in C4C, I try to know everyone well enough to speak to them casually instead of treating each other as strangers.

When I basically know them, what they study and stuff, then all we have left to say is, "How are you doing?"

Well, it is an important thing to know about the other individual's life.

In the beginning of the semester, I was very enthusiastic and energized about meeting new people.

However, I find it kind of strange for me introduce myself to the "older" ones in C4C.

Ok, I guess there is nothing wrong with that...I think...

Maybe I am showing an example of stepping out in faith in meeting new people.

I want to know them and get to LOVE them and develop a good relationship.

It is hard to love someone you don't know them.

My enthusiasm faded away when I don't actually see good bondings.

It was getting harder and harder for me start a conversation with others I don't know too well.

It seemed like my love for SFU C4C is already fading.

I don't know how to love them anymore.

That was during my first semester.

The only person whom I developed a great brotherly bond was Peter Wang.

He and I get to go out sharing and following up with a Muslim.

He and I were keeping each other accountable.

In the end, the Muslim decided not to meet up with us anymore.

When we met, we prayed for him and prayed for each other.

I saw that Peter felt a little bit discouraged.

Before the Muslim decided not to meet with us, I gave him the "Would you like to know God personally" booklet.

Peter told me something, "Tommy, you did the right thing by giving him that booklet. It is the word of God that can speak to him, not by words."

I'm not being prideful.

I am trying to show that we both did our parts by modelling each other.

If one of us did someone wrong, then one of us must gently correct each other with the upright attitude.

James 5:16 is a really good verse to keep each other accountable in prayer.

All I could say is that, it is very difficult to love faithfully.

I have developed great relationships during my second semester.

God really provided me a lot.

He trapped me in SFU for my Thursday evening so I don't go to UBC C4C weekly meetings.

So it was a really blessing that I can get to love others better.

One question that I recall is this...

How do we respond to God's love for us?

If our parents love us so dearly, then how should we respond to them?

And how could we apply God's love for us and express it to others as well?

This is something we could all think about.

"If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brothers and sisters, he is a liar."

Resurrection Day

Today is not about huge white bunny passing out Easter eggs to kids.

It has more than just the culture itself.

Easter...I wonder why it is called Easter...

Wikipedia says that Easter day or Easter Sunday is about Jesus resurrecting from the grave.

When I was a little boy, I stayed to the cultural custom and thinking that Easter is about a bunny passing eggs around.

I remember I put my small little basket out the door and wait for the Easter Bunny to place their eggs on it.

Unfortunately, nothing was on my basket the next day.

I lost hope on that Easter Bunny.

I stopped making small little basket and just go on with life.

Easter has some very special meaning to it.

In Chinese Translation, Easter translates Resurrection.

I am rather suprised by the translation, but didn't understand what it meant.

It was not long that I started going to church and learned about Easter.

It is Jesus overcoming death and got out of his tomb and revealing His majesty.

How wonderful is He willing to suffer so much...just toooo much...more than what I could...

He died for us...for me.

Jesus shedding His blood...torn to pieces...pierced...

He died, hanging on the cross.

For the glory of it all, He resurrected on the third day.

Removing our transgression if we know Him personally.

If you haven't heard that He died for you, then now you do.

Easter is all about His resurrection.

He died for sin so we could become the righteousness of God. 

No longer will death conquer Him.

Just like He has promised!

There is so much to talk about, but there is a passage that we could all read.

1 Corinthians 15

Happy Easter (Resurrection) Day

Broken foot and Double G(or GG) woman

I can't believe this!

It felt like I couldn't even feel my right foot anymore...

My foot was sliced off accidentally by a huge razor blade.

So much blood...

I wasn't really in pain, but the feeling of losing my foot was one huge experience.

You try to move your right foot even though it's gone, but then you couldn't experience that touchiness anymore.

You couldn't walk or anything.

Imagine you lose a part of your body, how would that feel?

Thinking about makes my whole body can't move anymore.

But how come I could still type even though my body can't move?
Anyhow, I was on crutches for few seconds.

People came and try to attach my foot back to my leg again.

They used this chemical substances to attach this foot of mine back to my body.

The pain was rising and it felt very awkward.

Since the chemical substance could work potentially, my bro needed to use those chinese chemical substance called "Teed Da".

Just when he was about to use his strength to attach my foot, my snot called to me.

I finally realized that this experience really affected me.

The feeling of losing a part of the body.

When I think about the Body of Christ, there are so many parts that needs to be resemble.

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

The fascinating thing about what I just experienced was losing a body part.

It seems like "if one part [of my body] suffers, every part suffers for each other."

When I think about Christ dying on the cross for us, no matter where he gets whiped, torn to pieces, or torture, he's suffering a whole lot already.

His body is already in pain and in agony.

Just a little slice of my foot cannot compare to the pain of how Jesus suffered.

"But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it."

I'm not bright enough to even understand this passage, but all I know is that we're missing many in the Body of Christ.

In this world we are living, there are around 7 billion people?

And how many believers are there in this world?

It's like a cell in our body...bleh I forgot my Biology.

I guess there are millions of cells in our body.

Imagine 1/4 of our body are developed cells and the rest are dead cells (actually that would cause cancer).

I have no idea what's on my mind right now, but something that relates to this verse

All I can think about is Romans 6:1-14.

We are united with Christ through Baptism.

Ephesians 2:1-22

We are made alive in Christ as one.

Finally, Ephesians 4:1-16

We are united in the Body of Christ through fellowship with our bros and sis.

This is something that struck me.

 

After that snot, I have awoken into a whole new fantasy.

She was right there in front of me.

I took out my hand and she took hers and grabs onto me.

There we go, setting out to the Disney World fantasy.

She grabbed on me very tight.

My hope and prayer came true.

I feel loved by this GG woman...not good game.

When I stared at her very closely, she was very beautifully designed for me...maybe God reserved that for me.

Another snot came to me, and I was awoken from this dream world.

The day is bright now.

God probably slapped me for taking Him for granted and woke me up from this dream.

All this dream I had, my broken foot and this.

You know what, they were probably from God.

I couldn't control my own dreams.

I dream whatever that pops out of my mind.

*sigh* dreaming is wonderful, not until you wake up and you're like, "ARGH! It was just a dream."

8 Months

1 year has gone by like a swift.

Actually, two semester of University totals up to 8 months.

I am pretty amazed how time just gone by all of a sudden.

I didn't notice anything until now.

When I look back to my 1st year experience, I've actually learned a lot.

When I entered University, I thought everything is going be a smooth cake, but maybe a little bit of struggle and hardships.

University life is no different from High School life.

Basically, you have a main purpose in those lives, and that is to graduate.

How to graduate?

In High School, you study your bum off to graduate and then get into College or University and study even harder.

Not to mention you get an entrance scholarship if you do really well in High School.

However, through this experience, there is a huge difference.

First, you step into University, and start studying the program you want to Major in.

By the time you experience the 1st semester, you're already lost.

Perhaps you'll be struggling badly in that program.

That happened to me.

I wanted to study Criminology 'cause SFU offers it.

While experience the torture of reading tons of materials from four courses, I am already feeling tons of stress.

Not only do I get stress, but I am pretty poor with understand the materials because my English wasn't that great.

When I write papers, I know that I'll have mistakes, but I got TONS of mistakes.

With the experience from the 1st semester, I knew I couldn't continue on this program.

Before all this, you still need people to be there for you right?

Jordan, Hamid, Johnson, and Tim were the people that I knew even before I stepped into SFU.

As time passes by, I crashed to the C4C booth during Clubs day.

From there, I met Steve Chan, Kitty Ho, Julia Chu and Irina.

During BBQ, I practically met a lot of people like Jilly Jill Jill, Derek, Gary...and lots.

And then I met my Bible study group personally- Allen, Wayne, Nigel, Eric, and Frank.

There were others also, but they disappeared all of the sudden.

During Summit, I met Peter and Sebastian.

Frankly speaking, there are too much to list.

All I know is that I met a lot of wonderful brothers and sisters who are willing to be part of my life - it is such a blessing.

And then Winter Conference.

Getting to know other people a lot deeper.

Knowing all the SFU peeps greatly inspired and influenced me.

As some of you might know, I grew up deeply with the UBC peeps

I feel closer to them than SFU, so please forgive me for escaping my wondering SFUers.

Now, I feel a lot closer to SFU than before.

Most of the time, I tend to relax and hang out with them and try to meet up with different peoples.

I'm a type of person who does not like to stick with just one group.

I like it when we are all in love with each other, just like in Unity of Christ.

Bonding with Christ leads us to bonding with one another.

Anyhow, I still have no idea what is coming up next year.

Maybe I'll survive or maybe I won't, but we should stick to the positive side, right?
I will survive this 1st year and not getting withdraw.
Math? Calculus?...supposively alright for me.

Like I said, exam was stupid.

Mid-terms were fair and all, but I still screw up on them because of definition and accumulation.

Now MACM exam is waiting for me.

I am READY for it right now!

...ready to fail to be exact if I don't study for it XPPPP

Lets get a move on!

 

I wonder what IS up with that person these days...

Oh right! I did talk to that person yesterday.

Hopefully everyone will stay strong and healthy, and continue to build one and another in the Body of Christ.

Be faithful.

Be an encouragement.

Be an inspiration.

Be loving.

They will see it in you.

Like no other exams!

Today, I had my Calculus exam.
It PROBABLY will be my last exam for Calculus.
Don't get what I mean?
When Mid-terms are alright, I guess Final should be a tiny bit harder.
However, I neglected some sections I needed to study for.
Yes, the exam was harder than I thought it would.
Sitting in there for 3 straight hours was a pain.
Started working my way through the paper and answering many different questions.
There were...4 parts that I didn't answer fully?
Which worth more than 20 points.
In total, there were 12 parts?
But I'm ok, yet disappointed in how the exam was structured.
Oh well, got to stop thinking about it.
Time to relax for a bit and then study for my next exam that is coming up in 10 days.

Allergy

I am very sick of this allergy I am having.

Hay Fever...ugh...I hate it.

It cost me a lot of incomes to buy tons of tissues and kleenex(although I don't use it).

Plus, it cost me a lot to go buy medicine to make it stable.

Most of the time whe I take medication, the effectiveness will work, sometimes.

When it does not work, it ruins my whole day with stuffy nose and itchy cheeks...whatever you call it inside our cheeks...it stoles our disugsting nostrils.

Jill must be saying, "eww..." and then laughs for mentioning her.

I wonder who else reads my blog?

Edward might be reading it casually...hmm...

Jessica might also think it's weird for mentioning the things above.

Penny...not sure what her reaction is.

ANYHOW, I'm glad that someone is not reading my blog or else I'll get heart attack if he/she reads my previous blogs in the past.

So, why does this sickness occur?
Why can't God heal me?
I would rather have other allergies than to have this hay fever!

Although....I don't want to have itchy bodies...or dry skin...coughing could be a pain but at least I could drink tons of water...

God has higher view than we do.

Romans 8:28

God can bring us to the good side in any situations.

Just like what Joseph said at the end of Genesis.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

Well, this verse pretty much has nothing to do with allergy, but it can refer to bad situation being a good stuff.

God is not always the one who gets me sick.

Satan will always hit me with a curse.

Just like in the gospel where Satan enters into someone's body and caused them to be a maniac or something.

Sickness can also be refer to suffering.

It is not an easy thing to deal with.

We all are sick, exhausted, and in pain!

We are suffering everyday if you haven't knew about it.

We are suffering with the sin in us.

The sin causes to rebel against God, and pushing Him away from us.

We fall! (Romans 3:23)

God uses sickness to bring us back to Him also.

We learn our mistakes and how miserable we are.

Psalm 119: 65-72 greatly explains why God lets this sickness happen to us.

When I am sick today, I know I sin against Him for disobedience.

May God bring bring us out of our sickness.

Only He can sustain us and keep us stable now matter where we go.

A Vow

Is it wrong to break promises that you've made?
Is it wrong to break what you've commited to God?

When I say promises or commitment, I meant everything that you've vowed to God.

Serving in ministry can be tough when a person steps out of that ministry that he/she has commited.

When we first want to serve a ministry, there's a vow that needs to be commited.

It's like signing a contract with God.

Most people may misinterpret the contract.

You're not signing it for the person, you're signing it for God.

For example, "I commit to myself to serve this ministry for one year."

And less than one year, that person steps out.

So what is that person's point of serving when he/she steps out?

Is it because to do a little for God's kingdom and leave?
 That's not really pleasing God if you just leave.

I had a Chinese Intern Pastor, whom I started to look up to before he left.

He only had four months to serve at my church.

In those four months, he worked day and night to make this ministry happen.

He wanted the people in the congregation to experience God.

It is an important thing.

It did happen.

Brothers and Sisters adore he and his wife for serving God gratefully.

Never did they had the mind  to leave the church.

But his time was up and God was calling him to another place to serve.

Reflecting back to the Old Testament...

The books of Leviticus and Numbers have several references to vows in relation to offerings and sacrifices.

There were consequences for the Israelites who made and broke vows, especially vows to God.

Perhaps this is why Jesus gave a new commandment concerning vows.

Matthew 5:33-37

"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No ,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

Just to clarify some thoughts here, vow and commitment are different.

"I vow to commit this" is different from just wanting to commit for God.

I can say I promise to God that I will serve this ministry for a year.

I know that the readers are wondering why I am posting this.

Some of the readers might know that my church has a ministry called Awana.

Leaders are stepping out of Awana right now.

I totally don't know why.

I don't get it.

The only excuse I got is, "I'm busy on that day, so I don't think I am able to be there."

When I hear that, I felt very discouraged.

So what are there purpose in life?

Prosperity?

John and I were talking about it today.

Yes, I am very discourage knowing that few leaders are already stepping out.

Stepping out probably means not commited to serve God UNLESS God has a plan for them.

However, like I said, their excuse is just a simple word: busy.

Now, there is one female leader serving in one program called Sparks(kindergarden - grade 2 or 3?)

I don't want to lose her too because it is a lot of work.

But I forgive them.

If we have made a vow foolishly and realized we cannot or should not keep it, we should confess it to God, knowing that He is “faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

A broken vow, while serious, is not an unforgivable matter if taken to the Lord in true confession.

God will not hold us to vows made imprudently, but He expects us to obey Jesus and refrain from making vows in the future.

Devotion

As I was reading Matthew 18:15-20, I was thinking back to a friend of mine.

I actually looked up to him as my model and a leader when I was in High School.

I also tried helping him through his struggles.

He was my youth leader.

But things will turn out different for a lot of people.

Leaders will stumble since they're not perfect.

We all need to pray for our leaders though.

I go to his house and sleep over.

We played chess a lot whenever I go over to his house.

I missed the old times.

I don't know how he became the person he is today.

I don't know how he's living his life right now.

Maybe because it was my fault?

I don't usually put blames on myself.

However, it was not me who does it, but the sin in me that does.

Satan uses anyone to mislead others and others and so forth.

I wasn't a developed Christian in High School until near the end of grade 12 where I knew God personally.

I swear in front of him and say unappropriate words.
I started dying my hair again, and he followed me...I guess.

I went to the arcade and I asked him to tag along.

All this were my cravings(wants).

I sin against him.

By the time I knew God, he wasn't my youth leader anymore.

I wondered why at first.

I realized that he shouldn't have done the thing that a youth leader shouldn't be doing to our fellow youth.

Due to the huge age gap between the youth and the leader, it is not possible for them to be dating.

After that, it was vice versa.

What am I suppose to be doing right now?
Sometimes I do stumble in front of him by saying unnecessary stuff that would hurt our friendship.

I really want him to have a revival in him.

I couldn't do it, but it's only his decision whether or not he wants to go back to God...asking God for forgivness, and repenting from his sins by not living a lie.

Maybe the reader would think I shouldn't blog this.

It may hurt that person.

Yes, it may.

I may regret it for hurting that person.

BUT I do not regret for posting this.

Perhaps although it is none of my business and it is between him and God, I still have the right to represent him by telling him the truth...the truth of his life.

We can't escape the truth can we?

Why bother living a dishonest life?

God won't find favor in those who does not repent. (Not Favouritism, but Christ living in us)

So, my friend, if you are reading this, do I consider putting you down or judging you?

Paul...uses a lot of rage of encouragement by telling the people in churches how to live properly...especially the church of Corinth.

2 Corinthians 7:8-13

"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it - I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while - yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in anyway by us. Godly sorrows brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrret, but worldy sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to cleary yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justince done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was no on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged."

I pray that you'll recover soon.

I pray that God will reveal His purpose and what your purpose in life is supposed to be.

Come back my brother, come back to our Father.