Sophia

I was complaining about my Final Exam marks.

"No,No,No,No....NO! I don't deserve this!"

I was quite upset about my MACM mark.

Five days of studying/cramming still cannot get me a decent mark?

Realize that more and more than half the class failed the Final Exam.

So, I shouldn't feel so bad about myself.

I was feeling foolish of how arrogant I was in the exam.

Finished the exam in an hour and then left in the next 30 minutes.

"Yeah, the exam was alright. I shouldn't fail."

BOOM, justice has come!

After that, I was thinking deeply inside me.

It's a cry of my heart.
I got back home and checked my email.

Yes, I was kind of having tears in my eyes and in my heart.

She emailed me.

"Before I leave for hk, I just wanted to say best wishes to you at Waterloo."

" =) I'll definitely keep you in my prayers."

"I know you'll have an amazing time." 
hmm...what would happen if I do get RTW.

How would she respond to that?
How would any other friends that I made the past 8 months would respond to that?

Yes, there will probably be some disappointments.

I told her that I failed my exam and I was cursing myself.

"I know you won't get kicked out."

Maybe, maybe I won't.

I was pretty joyful when I can hear her again.

I thought she left already, but she told me that she had an exam today."
"The prof said the exam was easy, but it was a lot harder than I expected."

Then, good-bye and have a safe trip.

Back on to this computer and I told my youth leader about my situation and what I'm going to do.

His response is very encouraging.

 

"If you like math, what do you think about accounting? It's good to get practical skills. A math degree would be very helpful as a foundation for any other practical skills you pick up later. Now is a good time to be in school because the economy is very bad. More people than usual are applying to get into school because now is the time to study while waiting for the economy to pick up again."

"I did English! Now what in the world was I supposed to do with English!? Teaching is the only thing you can do with English! I didn't know at the time, but God had my future set. He blinded my eyes to the future so that I wouldn't be distracted with all the law stuff (I don't think I would've been able to concentrate on my English courses if I were thinking too much about getting accepted into law school). At the right time, God revealed his plan for me. So when God doesn't let you see into your future, count it as a blessing. He is graciously telling you that all you need to think about right now is what you can see in front of you. He is taking care of the rest. "Be not anxious about tomorrow, for sufficient are the troubles today"

"If you're feeling uneasy about your future right now, the best thing to do is to stay close to God. He sees your future. If you stay with him, he will take you through even if you don't see your future. Resist thoughts of despair and doubt. Heaven is yours already. Everything else in this life is a bonus. :)"

 

Yes, I have been thinking a lot about grad school such as getting my Master and Ph.D.

At the same time, I was thinking a lot about my future.

However, I don't even know what it means to work hard.

I just don't know what it really means to totally work hard to achieve what God has given me.

God! I ask for Your wisdom!

 

"To be wise, you must have reverence for the Lord." Job 28:28

"If any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to all people, so he will give you wisdom." James 1:5

"The Lord will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; He will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do. And with your wisdom, develop common sense and good judgement." Proverbs 4:7

" 'I will guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble,' declares the Lord." Proverbs 4:11-12

"The Lord grants wisdom! His every word is a treasure of knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6

"Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, because they are mind forever. I am wiser than all my teachers, because I think about your rules." Psalm 119:98-99

"What seems to be God's foolishness is wiser thanhuman wisdom, and what seems to be God's weakness is stronger than human strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25

 

God's little lesson really can open people's eyes.

My eyes need to see things clearly even though it's open.

God's wisdom is a gift.

Very often, we ask God for wisdom, His Holy Spirit.

He gives it to us, but we unintentionally throw it out when we don't have any needs.

I always ask God for wisdom, but I don't know how to use it properly.

When I throw it away, I turn to my own ways.

My own ways leads me to failure.

I fail.

I fail a lot of times.

I was always a failure when I do things my way.

I totally have thrown it out.

I skip classes thinking that it is unnecessary to go.

Even though I fail a lot or have fallen trillion of times, He still loves me, and picks me back up.

I take His gift for granted.

Kevin Thomas was talking about wisdom the other day and it took him 5 years to understand God's wisdom, and the wisdom God has given to him.

He is still struggling with the gift(I think), but he experience the power of wisdom.

If it takes him a long time to experience this gift, then I guess I should start right now.

I want to experience this gift.

God, I need Your wisdom.

Lord grant me this wisdom.

I want to be wise right now.

I know I'll fall, but I am willing to experience this gift and not throw it away.

I want to stay close to you God, isn't that very wise?