Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Agreement (Acts 8:21-23)

I am quite discouraged with a lot of stuff.
I was thinking to myself, "How am I going to make it through University?"
Sometimes, I do feel like I am not able to graduate.
Today, I did so much wickedness before God.
I was disobedient before Him.
My mind and heart are so messed up with darkness and wickedness.
Believe it or not, when I experience Satan's power, he could put me to death.
Oh man...my heart feels so heavy.
Looking back today, most of my final marks came.
I thought I would just forget about it and move on since it's over and done with...but I just keep coming back to it.
First of all, it was very UNFAIR.
Second of all, it was very discouraging.
I keep telling myself, "I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this!"
Well, maybe I do.
I have to admit, I am not being humble about it.
I have to admit, there's no repentance within me.
I have to admit, when I know what I do could send me straight to hell, I do.
I have to admit, there's no fear in God in me.
When I realized that my heart is heavy, I am scared already.
I am so fearful that God would end me right here.
When I do sin, I immediately ask myself, "WHY!......"
Yesterday, I never realized how ungodly I am.
The way I treat my family and my little brother.
Whenever I talk to my little brother, maybe I do sound like a jerk and speak straight without thinking.
What am I doing?
God is right, I am that kind of person.
"You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin."
THERE'S NO AGREEMENT BETWEEN ME AND GOD!
I just want to say that my heart is not right before God.
I need to set an agreement with Him.
I need to believe in His ways.
Isaiah 55:8
Pray for me.

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