My foolishness that cause me to be a fool in my foolish life

My life. I have been living for almost 18 years. How amazing is it to live for such a short life but feel it has been long. This is my last year of high school, this is my last term before I graduate. "You have to finish it good". Over the term 2, I have forgotten the quote Pastor Jeff told me. Once I sat back on this chair and add a new entry for my blog, I realize while I was typing before graduate, I remember the quote PJ has given me. I'll never forget it this term. I have been foolish over the high school year. I never finish great. I should be ashame of my own pity. But it is not me that lead myself into a bad area, it was the wicked one. I've been distracted by many stuff in my very own house. Occationally focus on school stuff, but focus on more things that are useful for my own pleasures. I don't know how to go on like this. I never think what I should be planning right now. I never plan what I am trying to be when I grow up. Will I get a great job own a house, take care of my family, or start a new family? I'm pathetic. I just feel that I am. I wonder God can actually save me one more time. He has happened to be with me the whole time, but I let go of His hand and isolate each other. Whenever I needed Him, I don't really know if He's with me anymore. I want Him to forgive me. Give me infinite forgiveness. I know whenever I pray for forgivenss, He listens and blesses me. He knows what come next. Probably I'll die? No, I would never think of that. He has given us eternal life. We just need to follow Him and succeed in His path. I used to think I would die soon, really soon. However, it never happened to let me die. I know He has more stuff for me to do. I wouldn't ruin Hi plan for me. I know the good deeds He has given us. Is to live with Him in Heaven. From now on, I would follow His path. To the glory of His creation upon me and hold Him forever and never leave Him. I'll stay beside Him. If He goes, I follow. If He stays, I'll stay with Him. If He treat me, I'll take it. That's is all, Thank You holy spirit.