When God Says "No"

Prayer is an important spiritual discipline of the Christian faith. Most, if not all, of us have at least prayed once in our life. We ask God for toys when we were children. We ask God for more stuff in high school, such as a girlfriend, good grades, getting into the right university, and etc. We ask God to get into a good program once we're in university and hopefully we will get a career moving. 

We are taught that God answers prayer. "Answered Prayer" has become an ambiguous phrase. Sometimes we think "answered prayer" means God says, "yes I will give it to you." However, when our prayers are not answered, sometimes we think God neither heard us nor responded to us. 

How should we respond biblically when prayers go unanswered? In James 4:3, people do not get what they receive because God says, "no". Why does he say, "no", to prayers? It is because people ask wrongly. Also, people seek after self-centered passions when they pray.

When you read James 4, these people fight and quarrel because they don't have the stuff they want. They don't have the stuff they want because they never asked for them. That's true. But when you read a little further down, you see that God doesn't always answer prayers. God doesn't always give you what you want. Not only that, God doesn't always listen to or isn't always attentive to people's prayers. Here are some reasons:

James 1:5-8 says that if we doubt when we ask God for wisdom, then we're not going to receive anything. 

James 4, what we just read, says that if we have a wrong motive in asking God, then we're not going to get anything. 

1 Peter 3:7 says that if a husband does not respect/honor his wife in an understanding way, then his prayer will be hindered. 

Isaiah 58 says that if we don't care for the poor even though we fast and pray, then he's not going to listen. 

Isaiah 1:12-17 says that God doesn't even want to hear our prayers because our hands are full of blood and we fail to seek justice for the fatherless and the widow. 

Amos 5:21-24 says that God doesn't even want to receive our worship unless there is justice and righteousness.

A helpful way to examine your own prayer is this: is your prayer self-seeking or self-centered? If so, it is possible that God has already said "no" to your prayer. 

God can answer prayers with a "no" even if it's not self-centered, and Christians can still be faithful to God and trust His plans. What if God does not heal your cancer or disease? What if God closes the door for that career opportunity or school opportunity that you are pursuing for? What if God closes the womb? These questions are tough to swallow. 

If it is according to God's will, then let His will be done. Our response should always lead us to trust and place our faith in God - His way is infinitely better than ours. And, do not cease from prayer. (Luke 18:1-8)