Why?

My delighful one and my future has gone plain.

My faith in You has worn down.

I stand up for myself, but the devil itself will not leave me.

You surround me with Your love.

You defend me from evil.

Your spirit is around me.

I know You're here.

I need You.

My anxiousness has made me failed.

What's important though?

My success or You?

There are questions that needs to be answered.

Each step in Christianity has more to come.

The gospel tells me that I can't make Christ to be my life.

I can invited Him into my heart and my life.

However, my life is not His.

It is my life.

Through God, I pray for my future.

Allow my life and my decision come before you God.

I follow you Jesus, but I can't promise that.

Guide me through the answer for my question.

I learned from my youthful Christian years.

I met You personally.

You came to my vision and my meditation.

I read Your past.

Christ the Lord, You predicted Your death.

You battle against Satan.

You will always win no matter what Satan plans to do, you counter his moves through saving us.

You are wonderful Oh Lord.

I read Your book of truth and You made everything beautiful.

Guide me through the answer for my question that I've been asking myself for quite some times.

"Why do I believe?"

 

 

Graduate

I still remember it. It was a great memory to remember. When I first stepped into high school, I was afraid of people. Everyone look so old and scary. I was with my friend and we walked around. Seeing grade 12 yelling and hugging each other, and we were like......o...k and walked away cause it was really weird. We just stayed in the same spot for a while until I see the cafeteria for the first time. I was amazingly huge. Then we spotted another one of our friend from our elementary school. Until then we just walked around high school for a while. We were suppose to be in front of the gym for our first welcoming. The gym was like......wow..no comment. But it was all the fun and games we did mostly for our first day.

 

Grade 8 wasn't really too bad. However, I did have learning disability when I was little. I first stepped into the special program, I saw a really scary looking person. But he wasn't really mean, actually he was a really funny person and also his friend. They were really nice people. Until I met a person that sat beside. He kept touching me and poking me. I told him to stop it but he just kept on doing it. I thought that guy was gay so I stayed away from him as possible in the same desk. Until now, he's not that same person anymore. He was like my first friend in high school(i think) from grade 8 till now. Amazing how we both grew up so quickly. But wow i did have sooo many bad letter grades in grade 8. I suck at learning even though i think i did try to get good letter grades. That is why I never gotten a honor roll in my life because i have learning disability which effected my learning skills. Every during lunch time, I spend most of my time playing yu-gi-oh. SOO MANY people were playing and i was like wow.

 

Grade 9 was another year of high school. Met more friends than before. Still hanging around with the yu-gi-oh crews. 2nd best in school!!! But o well another year of classes with harder stuffs for me to learn....=.= I still have learning disability which screwed up most of my marks. It was lowsy year and stupid classes. It was fun to be with my special program classmates. With no exams even grade 8 WOOT during June!! I was lucky to not have exams but then i felt really stupid to not have exams and be with the regular students which have brains and all that. At least all of my classmates from that class gets to go to PLAYLAND. It was really and I would never forget it i guess. My friend is soo stupid, spend $50 just to get the sonic doll.....=.= But o well nothing much to say in grade 9

 

Grade 10......i never want to describe this horrible year that i had. Got out of that special class...finally! but conflict has came. Councellor told to be repeat all most my main courses for a year......T__T thats when i got pissed off at everything and hated everything during that year. MA 9, ENG 9, SS 9 and SCIENCE 9......i mean it was just sooo not fair for me......I begged my councellor to let me be in my grade 10 courses. But he told i wasn't good enough.....unless i prove to him that i can do grade 9 stuffs. Life made my life a crap during that year. I never tried and i just didnt get good marks on every main courses. Another year of no honor roll...T_T I mostly spend my lunch with hongers but it wasnt that bad. Well i get to meet more new kooler friends in grade 10 classes. and i chill with them after exams.

 

Grade 11 wasn't that great. Well only ENG because the teacher was so immature. but I loved Math and the teacher. Ms.Fowler is the best and halarious teacher ever!!!! WOot! Also i love the time during engineering when my "noobie team group" has won the go-kart racing. It was fun building the go-kart and it was our first time to taking engineer. Science 10 was hard especially the teacher's test. but she was nice i guess. SS10 was ok. It was my first time doing prov exam. Sitting there nervous as hell and nose is killing me at the same time. It was a great experience.

 

Grade 12. Finally the graduating year. So many memories in grade 12. Hanging out with friends and chilling and playing either DSL or PSP or Mahjong, etc. It was such a fun year and it went to by so fast. But this year was my first time that i skipped so many classes lol. Things went by smoothly this year. BUT STILL CANT GET INTO HONOR ROLL!!! and cant get into university. It was a busy year but it was fun year. Graduating is a sad thing because we all need to leave our friends but we still keep in touch and probably dont get to spend much time with each other unless they go to the same university and same classes. And people having after parties and all those fun stuffs that people plans.

 

High school has lots of good memories. Memories as in it was crazy, fun, super, awesome, nervous, stress....almost everything that you will experience in high school life. If you think high school is a crappy life, think again. When you finally are graduating, you won't even want to leave high school. Although people will say "IM FINALLY GRADUATING" but they want high school to go slower. High school is a good and memorable time that you will have. Cheerish each moment and enjoy each precious moment in it.

 

Good Bye High school forever.

If there is one day

如果有一天 汽車與飛機轉眼再不足夠
別害怕 你擁有的 天賦的 一對雙腳 伴你可漫遊
如果有一天 你屋裡家俬一旦再不擁有
別害怕 那溫暖的 家裡的 成員歡笑
伴你於床頭 心樂透

人的快樂 在乎學曉等候
命裡不歸於你 你便毅然地放開手
越抱著只毓V嬲 知足一世你便富有

人善天不欺 簡單一個道理 怎麼竟不看透
任君多美麗富裕 在最後平頭
每種因果是有天修 人善天不欺 你懂得以後
掌握心中節奏 只要食得落 睡得好
天天裡笑得開口 便就已足夠

如果有一天 戰爭與饑荒 充斥全個地球
別害怕 你心我心 手與手 連成一線
為你可分憂 好朋友

delete

I......

forgot what I am.

Pain...Struggle...Depress...Worry...Frustrate

took into my body of life.

Tears may not come out, except it is happening inside me.

I......

really hate everything.

Staring down at everything that are in front of me.

I have changed...

it poisoned me

I am blinded to the goods.

I don't want to look at it...

eyes are half closed...face is falling

I......

hate everything that I have known...

that has happened

in my life.

I......

want to changed everything, so that it will never ever happen again

starting from the time I was born

having to know everything that will happen

but......

now i am meant to be something else

I want to be alone...

in the dark

I don't want to see anyone

I want to sleep

I want to ignore everything

and

I want to forget everything

I want to be deleted

I don't want to be question

I choose not to care about it

and

the pain

i need to faint......

 

frustrate

	想不起　怎麼會病到不分好歹 連受苦都甜美 我每日捱著　不睬不理 但卻捱不死　又去癡纏你 難道終此一生 都要這麼　不可爭一口氣 很謙卑　只不過是我太過愛你 連自尊都忘記 跌到極麻木　只好相信 又再爬得起　就會有轉機 若我不懂憎你　如何離別你 亦怕不會飛 由這一分鐘開始計起　春風秋雨間 恨我對你以半年時間　慢慢的心淡 付清　賬單 平靜的對你熱度退減 一天一點傷心過　這一百數十晚 大概也夠我　送我來回地獄又折返人間 春天分手　秋天會習慣 苦沖開了便淡
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