Evening

Another one of the biggest struggle, for me, as a student is constantly getting headaches.
Another one is planning on how to get my degree.
I feel like a stubborn person who thinks he can handle and plan many things by himself/herself...how naive.
I signed up for an appointment to meet and an adviser, well I just made a drop in.
Sat there and waited for an hour and finally took a look at the computer saying that I must MAKE AN APPOINTMENT BY PHONE OR ONLINE.
Epic Failure for me.
Another thing we struggle as a student is that we are all very tired out from school.
While waiting, my eyes keep closing itself and I must to stay awake for my later afternoon class...OH boy.
I hate late classes because it is a pain to wait for 5 hours every Tuesday and Thursday.
I could try and go and do some evangelism except I can't find anyone who wants to go with me.
I'm pretty fearful when I go sharing all by myself.
I guess God is challenging me to take a step out of my comfort zone and JUST DO IT.
Going to try and keep myself steady..."hang in there."
(DUDE or DUDETTE! Where are you? Haven't seen you ever since we did an exchange!)

Sitting right here in front of my computer and seeing that it's almost 8:00pm, which reminds me of something...REVolution.
Because of the evening class I need to attend, I could not make it.

*Sigh* To be very dead honest, I really do miss UBC.
Before, I don't even know why I'm in SFU.
I wanted to do a Joint Major with Criminology and Psychology, but things are probably going to change.
I haven't even decided what I want to do in future and one of the focuses that I'm doing is Mathematics.
Not sure where God is leading me, but I know it's going to be good even though I have to go through many obstacles.
If I was to transfer from SFU to UBC because I want to go into a Science Program, would I consider myself as traitor to SFU C4C?
Lets not think about "want" because that sounds like a selfish word, but what God needs me to do.
Spending more time with SFU C4C is great, but where are they during school time?
The reasons why I decided to go to SFU is because of the Criminology
Program and probably the significant other that I'm pursuing to reach.
Perhaps I'm wrong; I'm not good at English, especially the essays and papers and vocabulary.
I didn't do too well in English 12, but I actually did really well in Math 12 without studying much.
Math is interesting and many deep description in it and I really enjoy numbers, although it does give me some headaches.
Should I pursue something that I know I can do well on and be interested in it?

Dear Heavenly Father,
I'm in a deep situation in deciding where to go. For You, I will try to
obey You and listen to Your callings. Let me not be stubborn and naive
with the knowledge or experience that I have. I sin against You
everyday. I know I'm selfish in many ways. I know that I'm unworthy to
call on You, but because of grace, Your mercy, You came down to this
world to save us. I thank You, Lord, for being my shepherd. Command me
and show me where You're leading me like a shepherd who leads the
flock. This I ask in Jesus Precious name. Amen.

RING!

I hate it when an alarm just rings and wakes me up, not to mention that it was not even my own alarm.
It rang there for like few minutes and found out that it wasn't an alarm, it was a phone call.
I had an interesting dream last night that felt so real but I'm not going to share it.
 My bell(thought) was ringing too!
I still can't decide if I need to go to Summer School or Waterloo for this Summer.
I'm glad my mom "lets" me, but committed to work part-time after project, which is not that bad.
At the same time, I want to take some elective courses over the Summer.
Heavenly Father, direct to where you're leading me because I can't make any determination.


It's hard to know who I am as a learner.
I heard of a phrase that has regard to that sentence above.
I hope you fail because you'll learn you own mistakes.
Not sure if I interpret it correctly but I believe it's true most of the time.
"When will they ever learn?"
People can sometimes be so stubborn and just go at it without knowing their own consequences.
School has began yesterday and I already have lots of work to do.
I went to all my classes and found out that two of my professors have an ascent...oh how lovely.
One prof sounds like he's choking himself and the other one is quiet.
I must stay focus and be motivated!
I know there are far more greater things that is going to happen in the future, but for now, I got to keep up.
*staring at Calculus and Physics*

1st day of school in the year of 09

Since school was canceled yesterday.
I'll say that school officially starts right here, today.
The art of waking up early again is such a pain.
My eyes were tired and I didn't want to wake up.
But something, that shouldn't be spoken, woke me up.
Today is going to be a long day.
Perhaps not since it is going to be an introduction to the course.
Usually in the beginning of class, the prof introduces himself to the class and yapping on the course syllabus.
I took a glance at the Math 150 outline and found out that students are to take some diagnosis test to see where you are at in Math.
Hopefully I still remember some Mathematics in Math 12 and HOPEFULLY I'll score a perfect on that test...well it's only 5%
I wonder if it's going to be a pain to be away from home for another 12 hours...?
Anyhow, debating whether if I should follow my brother or not, but possibly going to bus there myself because I want to check if student loan gave me any $ yet.
I'm kind of worried, which I shouldn't be, about the loan because they still haven't transfer it into my account yet.
Anyhow, pray that God will lead and direct me.

Update on Campus
So I'm just sitting here for almost 1.5 hour waiting for my next class to start.
Each day feels like a depressing moment.
Perhaps it's just the weather condition...errr rain...
Every time the weather gets dark, I get pretty lonely inside myself.
It was cold and melancholic.
First class, which is Calculus, was at Surrey campus and the prof had an ascent.
He's Chinese and, seriously, I can almost not understand what he's saying.
It was so refreshing looking at numbers and learning about functions and math model.
Basically it's almost a review from high school Math.
I get very intimate with Math and somehow I love writing numbers and graphs.
So I guess the class is alright with the exception of the Prof's ascent and his teaching style...he's pretty boring.
I arrived at the Burnaby Campus and when I enter the Convocation Mall, it was kind of dark inside.
I went in to Maggie Benson and bought a Bubble Tea, oh how I crave the taste of Milky Coffee.
I encountered Joy and Jamie and sat with them for a while.
As we left Maggie, I finally noticed why the Convocation Mall is kind of dark.
It is because of the snows that are covering up the roof top...how silly of me.
So now I'm here killing some time and reading Soul Cravings.
It's interesting to read about the Intimacy that we crave for.
It's true that LOVE is very important in our human survival as indicated in the Psychology Textbook.
What is this thing? Why do we even have it?
As I kept on reading, Edwin indicated some points in which I won't spoil it for people who are going to read this blog.
Anyhow, so many things to do for the preparation for school!
Buying textbooks, paying my tuition fees(thank God that the student loan has arrived) and accessories.
Blogging seems to be fun again when I really want to rant about random things or maybe stay away from facebook.
Being a Christian is a GREAT life after all! but not an easy life.

New Year

The celebration of the New Year was awesome.
Winter Conference was also a good life changing experience.
It's hard to commit myself to the 2010 Pledge.
Where I will be praying for the campus and going out sharing with the students who are lost.
Sometimes it's hard to get motivated, well most of the time I should say.
School has started and today classes got canceled due the poor condition of the weather.
At first I was very happy about it, but now it's going to be hectic for everyone.
I wonder why wouldn't they end the semester a bit later..
Anyhow, classes are going to be tough, or easy for me to pass all my courses with B+...hopefully.
I already messed up the last semester and I don't want to mess it up again.
Or else I might get bashed out of the campus.
I had a dream last night and it was depressing.
My father was there.
I was wondering...when was the last time I have seen him.
This year is the 6th year that I haven't seen him or truly spoken to him.
When I saw him, I hated him.
I was rebellion and I didn't want to see him again.
In reality, I still love him.
When I look around me, people who has father aren't very pleased with it.
I was going through facebook and saw a group called "I hate my dad".
I went in there and saw so many people saying distasteful stuff about their father.
Specifically speaking, they said their father takes over their life and being "bossy".
I was thinking, "Wow these kids have a father, and they don't bless it."
If I see my father again, how would I react towards him?
Can I truly learn to forgive him for what he has done?
There so many mysteries in his life that I don't know about.
Maybe, just maybe God will show me in the future.
Perhaps I shouldn't think about it right now and focus more on what in front of me right now.
I can do it. I'm counting on God. I'm willing to serve Him and obey Him(trying my hardest).
I guess this is how I should start off my story of 2009? Sure why not? =D

Revisit

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 , 10...until this blog. I wonder how many blogs I made over the past few years or so. I haven't been blogging much lately and I forget what it feels to blog again. Looking back the blogs from the past really reflected much I've changed when I became His children. I laughed, amused, and joyful while reading it. Not much to say for blogging...but what does it been to blog? Talking about your life and experience that you're going through? I guess that is my definition. But there something more to it. While reading it, it isn't just a blog anymore, but a testimony. Right now it's almost mid-night and I'm close to turning myself into a resting mode. God is good all the time. God is love. No other gods will love you besides God Himself. God is my Father. It is by grace that I've been saved, by faith, not by my own work, but by the gift of God. My story will continue on.